Jumping into the conversation here. Our 9 year old son exhibits many of the behaviors discussed up thread. We did Parent Child Interaction therapy (PCIT) for a year – which is intense family therapy that teaches parents new skills but also informs the child of their options.
After a year, we “graduated” and continue to practice what we learned at home. Most of this comes from Ross Green with a focus on connecting with the child an grounding them in a secure environment.
But.. the arguing and explosive reactions continue, particularly with me (mom). As we are going to various appointments or activities he will do lots of name calling, pushing, hitting and throwing things around. Even though we set expectations ahead of time.. he seems to really enjoy the show, particulary in front of a group of other parents at a sport practice or similar.
I have joined a parent support group and done some sessions with a coach.. but it just seems to be getting worse. It breaks my heart, and even more than my shame and embarrassment from the situations.. I am very concerned for my son’s future. His IQ is high, but his performance in school is sub-par. The only time he did his work was when we hired a tutor that stood over him with a stop watch. but now, the explosive anti social behavior is getting worse.. and we do not enjoy his company at all.. so getting “special time” to happen is very difficult.
Thank you for this forum..