It sounds like it’s too much for her. She’s working so incredibly hard all day at school to try to meet the expectations of a neurotypical world. The thought of doing a lot more of that after school is likely causing her to shut down. And, if she had been trying and not getting results/ meeting expectations, that’s a sure-fire way to cause anyone to stop trying.
This is a great article on how much stress kids like ours are really under in school (his book is awesome):
Add anxiety, and the stress becomes unbearable.
My son (10th grade) has just about the same IQ, and he cannot take any honors classes due to the volume of work, the faster pace, and the inflexibility on how “smart kids” learn. He is in inclusion classes for math and English (they don’t offer it for other subjects), and he still doesn’t get the work done. Still has poor grades. Still has many missing assignments. It’s not that he doesn’t want to succeed, it’s that the system of learning he’s forced into does not work for his brain. We’ve dealt with a lot of school refusal in the past and it’s so hard.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism