It makes me sad too. I cling to hope that he, my husband is speaking from a defeatist perspective, and that an appointment to a family counselor will help pull him out. Of the moms I have talked to who live a life similar to us, I have heard resounding “not on purpose, not intentional manipulation.” I conveyed this to him but he won’t hear it. It makes me angry that he refuses to see another light. He said he lost hope when our son panicked over fear of getting athletes foot powder in his mouth. Hubby convinced son did it purposefully to get our attention. He won’t hear any different. I am now afraid husband, more than son, is keeping our family in a dark place.