Relationships

How to Mend Your Emotional Safety Net

Family conflict often surges during holiday get-togethers. If you have ADHD, that stress can trigger emotional dysregulation and RSD. Securing emotional support from your partner is essential, but sometimes complicated. These tips will help.

Sharon Saline, Psy.D.
By Sharon Saline, Psy.D. Verified Updated on March 24, 2023
Click to Add Comments
A group of adults holds a safety net

Q: “I need more emotional support from my husband during the holiday season. He’s so busy with his extended family that he forgets about my needs. What can I do?”

Emotional support is a prerequisite to stressful social gatherings, especially ones where family conflict is expected. Securing it is a multi-step process that looks like this:

Emotional Support 101: How to Handle Family Conflict at the Holidays

Take time to have an honest conversation with your partner in advance. Ask each other: “What can I do to help you feel safe and at ease during the holiday season?”

Then, get practical with planning . . .

Decide on a hand signal or code word you can use when feeling stressed around extended family. This way, your ally can cover for you when you need to take a break.

[Read: ADHD Communication Problems Hurting Your Marriage]

When you’re in the thick of it . . .

Try not to take your frustrations out on your support person. Say: “I’m not mad at you. I’m frustrated with the situation.”

And remember . . .

Your support person does not need to be a spouse; it can be a sibling or favorite cousin. Identifying a reliable ally before family events can help to make the holiday season a happy one.

Emotional Support for Family Conflict: Next Steps

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.