Manage Your Life

Don’t Should On Me

Why adults with ADHD are happier, healthier and more productive when they ignore the ‘should do’ advice of others.

Woman with ADHD hanging feet out of car on dirt road
Woman with ADHD hanging feet out of car on dirt road

Do you get fed up with being shoulded on? I certainly do.

You should do this. You should do that.

All the zillions of ideas other people have for what you should do to improve your life.

All the many thoughts you have for what you should do to be a better person.

Last week I discovered a web site that at first glance I thought fabulous. It’s a blog about living more simply; clearing life and home of unnecessary clutter. Sounds great doesn’t it?

However, I soon felt bombarded by shoulds.

For example, according to the blogster I should clean my bathroom after each time I use it! Give me a break. I’m lucky if I’ve got toilet paper on hand let alone getting out the toilet brush each time I go!

So why do shoulds make me so livid?

Because shoulds are someone else’s idea of how I ought to do things. When someone tells me I should do something they are imposing their beliefs on me.

Adults with attention deficit disorder (ADHD) are challenged enough living day-to-day without other people telling us what we should do.

To outsmart your ADHD you have to do what works for you. Not what others think you should.

So what do you do when you’re being shoulded on? You notice the shoulds and choose what is right for you.

Please, beware of other people shoulding on you.

While you’re at it, beware of shoulding on yourself.

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