Are You Crisis Schooling? Daily Schedule Advice for ADHD Families
A daily schedule comforts and guides children with ADHD through uncertain times like these. Use this expert advice to keep your child happily learning and achieving goals while also social distancing and working from home and banding together as a family.
A petrifying pandemic is changing our lives by the moment, but one constant is true: You’re unsure how to manage closed schools and social isolation with your children, who happen to have ADHD.
The big questions are: What can you do to set up a family plan that fosters more cooperation and less arguing during these unsettling times? How can you devise a plan that you can actually follow and your kids will buy into? We know that kids with ADHD benefit from structure, but what can you realistically pull off? Here is some helpful advice to get you started.
Carve Out Chunks of Time
Break the day into chunks that include periods for learning, chores, activities, your own work-from-home responsibilities, and personal breaks from each other. Instead of using punishments or threats to force your kids to cooperate, focus on using earned privileges because incentives motivate kids with ADHD best.
Focus on Big Goals and Forget the Small Stuff
Before you start learning at home, think about what you want for each day and what will help you stay as calm as possible. If you are dysregulated, then your kids will be too. Consider what they have to get done for school and chores, what assists them in working on those tasks and how many breaks they’ll need.
Don’t Fudge Wake Up and Bed Times
Pick specific times for waking up, getting started on studying and going to bed.
Set New Screen Time Limits
Decide how much ‘fun’ screen time they can have each day as a given and what they can earn through cooperation. It’s reasonable to allow your child more time than your usual limits on screens right now, especially if it means they can interact with their friends online.However, make sure to explain to your kids that this is an exception not the new normal.
Collaborate with Your Child
Make a time to talk with your kids about their ideas for organizing their days. Brainstorm together how to co-create a structure that makes sense for everyone. When kids, especially those with ADHD, are included in the process of figuring things out, they are far more likely to cooperate.
Spell Out the Incentives
You’ll need to make two lists: one with smaller ‘like-to-do’ items such as playing with the dog, hearing a story, practicing yoga or movement, or getting a snack and another list of bigger incentives such as extra screen time (surfing the net, gaming or social media); doing a favorite activity with you such as cooking or art projects; playing catch or making music; or even watching a TV show or movie. You’ll need to apply these incentives to the ‘have-to-do’ list that includes tasks like studying, doing chores, and helping out with siblings or household work.
Put the Schedule and Incentives in Writing
Now lay out a sample weekly schedule based on the tips below. Each day should have designated blocks of time geared toward school and learning, household chores, and various fun activities. Once you’ve got a draft, post it around the house and plan to meet again in 4 days to check in and make necessary adjustments.
Daily Schedule for School and Learning
- Plan to scaffold: Set up work periods using incentives that matter to your child or teen,timed breaks with appropriate activities, and earned rewards when the period is over or the task is completed. Plan to work alongside your child in what I call Family Work Time. You’ll do some of your stuff while they are doing theirs. Plus you’ll be there to help them stay on task or answer any possible questions. This sends a message that everyone is taking this plan seriously and it’s time to settle down.
- Block out realistic work periods: Ask your son or daughter how long they think they can concentrate before needing a break. Depending on their level of interest and the challenge of the work, this period can last 5 to 20 minus for elementary school kids. For middle and high school students, it varies between 15 and 45 minutes. Together, decide on the length of their study periods and how many they will need per hour and per day.
- Set benchmarks: Choose incentives for reaching benchmarks, expecting that after an hour your child will need a longer break. This is the opportunity for those ‘want-to-dos’ like YouTube, social media, gaming, reading, listening to music or exercise. Meanwhile, create 5-minute break times between study periods with a clear list of acceptable activities such as movement, bathroom, snacks, petting the dog, etc.
Daily Schedule for Home Chores
- Talk about team effort: This is a time when everybody needs to chip in. Talk to your kids about coming together for the collective well-being of the family and the reality of having to do more chores because the house will get dirtier than usual since everybody’s around.
- Choose chores they can tackle: Keep chores for your kids simple and manageable. If they weren’t doing them before, this isn’t the time to add something new. Instead, link the completion of their chores to some of the incentives as well. Talk about how many reminders they need and in what form. Prepare to supervise them if necessary and notice when they do what they are asked with positivity.
Daily Schedule for Activities
- Prioritize social time: The advice is clear: stay home and avoid playdates. But kids aren’t used to being alone and you may feel that complete avoidance is not possible. If your child is really struggling with social isolation, arrange for FaceTime sessions or interactive gaming sessions with friends. Focus on being outdoors as a family and making the most of this time without outside obligations.
- Create a menu of non-screen choices: I suggest board games, puzzles, cooking, fun art or science projects, scrapbooking, cards, creating movies, music or books, caring for pets, walking, hiking, yoga, Wii, or biking. Create a garden or make some planters, redecorate a bedroom, or organize your playroom.
- Game-ify mundane things: Let each child pick a family movie for two nights a week and pretend you are going to the movie theatre. Make popcorn or other treats. Set it up like an event. Make lunch as a picnic in your living room instead of at the kitchen table. Have breakfast for dinner. Play dance music while doing the dishes.
- Nurture their interests: This is a great opportunity to cultivate those non-school activities that no one ever seems to have enough time to pursue.
- Know that down time is healthy: Everybody needs and wants time to do whatever they want. Save some screen time allocations for this and let folks chill.
Daily Schedule for Managing Your Own Work
- Budget quiet into the schedule: If you are working from home, decide when you want privacy and allow your kids to have some of their screen time then. This keeps them occupied when you need to work.
- Take shifts, if possible: If you have a partner or a family member who lives with you, try to tag team your work and child coverage. Plan on relieving each other and make arrangements to check in with each other when your kids are asleep.
Whatever routines you create during this unusual time will need tweaking as you go, but that doesn’t mean the plan isn’t working. If your son or daughter isn’t cooperating, work with their desire to avoid conflict and see their struggles as part of their frustration about how life has changed. Expect inevitable meltdowns and make an arrangement for structured time apart to cool off before pivoting to another activity.
Remember that kids are struggling right now and may neither fully understand the severity of the situation nor be able to articulate how they feel. Share relevant facts without scaring them and be careful of what you are saying on the phone to friends and family that’s within earshot of your youngster.
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