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Book Review: The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD

Is ADHD making it tough to keep your marriage afloat? A new book offers straightforward practical advice on compromising, keeping promises, and pushing past tough times.

The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD

by Melissa Orlov and Nancie Kohlenberger, LMFT Specialty Press, $19.95

Keeping your marriage or other long-term relationship healthy isn’t an easy task. But when one or both members of a couple have ADHD, it’s harder. Early on in this book, it becomes obvious that authors Orlov and Kohlenberger know their stuff. The book reads like a therapist’s best practices primer, with each technique fine-tuned to lessen the effect of ADHD on relationships.

The book is organized around 21 Hot Spots — “the emotional speed bumps you will inevitably encounter on your journey to relationship repair.” The authors’ goal is to help you move away from the Hot Spots to “…calmer, ‘cooler’ ground.” Hot Spots include things like one partner’s ADHD symptoms leading the other to feel unloved, be overwhelmed with anger, or suffer through broken promises. The authors suggest ADHD-friendly strategies to help couples navigate each Hot Spot.

The authors use plain, straightforward language, making the book easy to read. Both share stories from their own experiences, and highlight other couples’ challenges. They don’t promise that it’s easy for couples to thrive with ADHD, but their roadmap will get you to your final destination with fewer speed bumps.

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