“Maybe If I Write It in a Letter?”
Our children are easy to write off as disrespectful, lazy, and even hopeless. They are none of those things, but they will challenge you. And if you take up that challenge — and recognize the incredible potential for growth just waiting to burst out — you may just be a part of something magical.
To the Teacher or Coach of my Child,
I understand your frustration. I know what it feels like when you are talking to someone who immediately looks away. I understand how annoying it is when instructions are given and simply not followed.
Please believe me: I understand and have experienced it all living with a child with ADHD.
I have lost count of the number of times teachers, coaches, and other adults have simply washed their hands of my son. I have lost count of the number of times I have witnessed the pain in my child’s eyes when this happens. I have lost count of the number of scars he has accumulated as a result of doing the wrong thing unintentionally, inadvertently because he acts impulsively.
I am not trying to excuse the behavior. I am not trying to justify the behavior. I am just trying to put some perspective on things so that, when you must respond to these behaviors, you do so from a place of understanding rather than frustration.
Children with ADHD are hard to manage. Children with ADHD have difficulty following instructions. Children with ADHD always appear to be not listening, not paying attention, fidgeting, not focusing. Children with ADHD have little self-control; they are ruled by impulsive behavior and gestures. Children with ADHD often see themselves as not good enough — as failures. Children with ADHD…. the list is endless and I don’t think I need to add more because, as they sit in your classroom or play in your team, you are seeing all of this and so much more.
But here is what I want you to know about these children:
- Life is not easy for them; they struggle day in and day out.
- They know what they are doing is wrong, but most times they simply can’t stop themselves.
- They really want to please you, but they are not very good at reading body language or knowing when enough is enough.
- They lack confidence and need constant positive reinforcement to know that they are on the right track.
- They are not willingly being disruptive or misbehaving.
- Life is challenging for them and what they need the most is understanding, patience, encouragement, and acceptance.
We can only develop and improve our skills when we are challenged and pushed to our limits. These children will do just that to you if you view them in the correct light. They are portals for tremendous growth.
So, before you write off my child, I ask that you consider joining us on this journey. I ask that you look into his eyes and see potential, see a work in progress, see someone who will help you grow as human being.
I ask for your understanding. I ask for your patience. I ask that you step up to the challenge and help their light shine bright.
The Mother of the Kid with ADHD