What I Wish My Loved Ones Understood About My ADHD

ADDitude asks our readers to share insight into how ADHD impacts their relationships.

Q: What do you want your non-ADHD partner or spouse to know about you?

“No one notices my pain, my shame, how hard I try, or that I walk on eggshells every day trying to please others. But everyone notices my mistakes. I need you to be an encourager, not a critic.” — Annie B., Evansville, Wisconsin

“Whatever I do that annoys you, know that I’m not doing it on purpose. Try to help me in a non-condescending, patient way — and let me sleep, when I need to!”— An ADDitude Reader

“I do have feelings. I do appreciate things. I just process things differently and at different times.” — Tiffany B., Anchorage, Alaska

“I might be impulsive or moody at times, but my desire is to be loving and forgiving all the time. You are the most important person in my life and always will be.”— An ADDitude Reader

“I always do my best, I try to make the right decisions, and I want to finish what I start. But sometimes I fail because of my attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD). What I have accomplished in life has been accomplished with much effort.” — Randy Davenport, Utah

[Get This Free Resource: Manage ADHD’s Impact on Your Relationship]

“Be patient with me. I’m doing the very best that I can. As frustrated as you are with me, I am more frustrated with myself.” — An ADDitude Reader

“I suffer from guilt and self-loathing all the time. I need my partner to be patient with me, and take my goofy moments with humor. I need to be regularly reminded that I am accepted, no matter how scatterbrained I am.” — Zsofia, Hungary

“I don’t act the way I do because I don’t care. Meds help, but don’t solve all of my problems.” — An ADDitude Reader

[Do I Have ADHD? Take This ADD Symptoms in Adults Test]

Updated on December 18, 2019

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