ADHD Videos

5 Ways ADHD Can Ruin Relationships

All you need is love, right? Well, not exactly — when you’re talking about ADHD relationships. In this video, learn the five most common symptom-related snafus and how to avoid them.

Symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) — like distractability and chronic lateness — can get in the way of even the strongest romantic bond. And unfortunately, partners sometimes struggle to resolve the resulting disputes — without casting blame.

This video can help troubled ADHD relationships, with solutions for the five most common dating or marriage problems.

5 Ways ADHD Can Ruin Relationships

Research suggests that nearly two-thirds of all marriages touched by ADHD suffer from “maladjustment.”

Symptoms of ADD aren’t solely to blame, but they seldom help a relationship in trouble.

Top 5 ADHD-related relationship challenges:

1. Chronic Lateness

Problem: You are seldom on time, and your partner takes it personally.

Solution: Openly discuss your time-related challenges and ways to manage them:

  • Setting frequent phone reminders before a date
  • Planning to arrive 20 minutes early

2. Unhealthy Relationship Roles

Problem: Your spouse constantly nags you about family and household tasks.

Solution: Explain that this dynamic makes you feel like a child, not a partner.

Take your spouse’s “honey-do” lists seriously and implement a structured routine for repeat tasks.

3. Poor Communication

Problem: You lose focus during long conversations – and you talk more than you listen.

Solution:

  • Don’t multitask during conversations.
  • Practice listening without reacting.
  • Periodically summarize your partner’s words to confirm you’re keeping up.

4. Emotional Volatility

Problem: You jump from anger to sadness to excitement so fast it gives your partner whiplash.

Solution: Identify your emotional triggers, and step away when you feel your temper rising or tears brewing.

Allow your partner the space to express tough emotions, too.

5. Sexual Snafus

Problem: Your mind wanders during sex, which sabotages connection and pleasure.

Solution: Notice when your attention falters, and gently bring it back to the moment.

If you take medication, initiate sex when symptom control is strong.

In the end…

“Understanding the reasons for our loved ones’ behaviors — the abilities and challenges faced by a person diagnosed with ADHD — instead of taking those behaviors personally, is… the only way we can cultivate and foster meaningful relationships with them.” – Scott Lutostanski, LPC

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3 Comments & Reviews

  1. “This “video can help troubled ADHD relationships, with solutions for the five most common dating or marriage problems.”
    What ” Video” I Tried all the links

    No video

    1. The video is embedded in the page. Please let us know what device you’re accessing the page from if you don’t see the video.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  2. An older, adult member of my family exhibits a lot of symptoms of ADHD, and for various reasons does not want to get diagnosed. I am unable to change this, so I’m looking for any information I can find that might help me navigate the anger and hurt I feel when they do things like interrupting and asking me questions and then seeming to have no interest in my response. I say to myself “it’s not personal, they just might have ADHD,” but I’ve been doing it for years and my patience is wearing really thin. There comes a limit to what a person can ignore. Can anyone recommend any coping strategies? Everything I’ve read so far is predicated on the person with ADHD being aware of it. What if they’re not? And won’t get help? How does everyone else cope? Thank you.

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