Q: My Child Won’t Let an Argument Drop — Ever
Logic and reason are sometimes no match for the ADHD brain when it’s stuck on hyperfocus. If your child refuses to let an argument die, learn how to respond firmly but calmly to teach your child limits and self-control — and also to save your sanity.
Q: “When I tell my child no Fortnite after school today, he hyperfocuses on ‘why not’ and sucks me into an argument vortex until I’m worn down and exhausted. I try to reason with him, reminding him of all the time he got over the weekend and of our family agreement about electronics on school nights, but he just keeps arguing with me!”
A: “If your child has attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD), he will hyperfocus on things that are interesting or important to them. If he really wants something, focuses on it, and debates you about it, you need to stay on message with your answer. If you say “No,” give a reason why once, and then don’t try to use logic — because no matter how much logic you use, it’s not going to change their mind…”
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Ryan Wexelblatt, LCSW is the facilitator of the ADHD Dude Facebook Group and YouTube channel. Ryan specializes in working with males (ages 5-22) who present with ADHD, anxiety with ADHD, and learning differences; he is the one professional in the United States who specializes in teaching social cognitive skills to boys from a male perspective.