ADDitude Asked

In your adult friendships, are friends who also have ADD/ADHD good listeners, or are non-ADHD adults better than those without the condition? Or do both types of friends have their own unique listening abilities?

As an adult with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD), do you find that other ADD/ADHD adults are better listeners and friends than those without the condition? Many of you did, some of you didn’t, and others found that a mixed bag of friends, with and without ADD/ADHD, was the best combination of all.

“Non-ADDers don’t understand how my mind works. ADDers usually have similar problems and can offer advice.” -Aly, St. Paul, Minnesota

“ADDers know firsthand about the challenges — and they don’t blame the parents for a child’s diagnosis.” -Alicia, Pennsylvania

“ADDers offer me tips and suggestions that they use. My husband, who doesn’t have ADD/ADHD, can’t understand why I don’t get anything done all day!” -Marie, New Jersey

“ADDers zone out while you are speaking with them.” -Amber Thompson, Ostrander, Ohio

“Fellow ADDers have a visceral feel for the problems we face. People without ADD/ADHD tend to think it’s a matter of effort, not of capacity.” -Barry Lewin, Arizona

“Not always. My biggest supporters are three people, without ADD/ADHD, who are calm, organized, and positive. They make a big effort to help me through the tough times. But I have the most fun with ADD/ADHD friends!” -An ADDitude reader

“ADDers are better listeners — even if they have trouble focusing on what I’m saying.” -Debbie, New York

Listening and Friendship Advice for Adult ADD/ADHD