ADDitude Asked

In your adult friendships, are friends who also have ADD/ADHD good listeners, or are non-ADHD adults better than those without the condition? Or do both types of friends have their own unique listening abilities?

Reviewed on July 19, 2010

As an adult with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD), do you find that other ADD/ADHD adults are better listeners and friends than those without the condition? Many of you did, some of you didn’t, and others found that a mixed bag of friends, with and without ADD/ADHD, was the best combination of all.

“Non-ADDers don’t understand how my mind works. ADDers usually have similar problems and can offer advice.” -Aly, St. Paul, Minnesota

“ADDers know firsthand about the challenges — and they don’t blame the parents for a child’s diagnosis.” -Alicia, Pennsylvania

“ADDers offer me tips and suggestions that they use. My husband, who doesn’t have ADD/ADHD, can’t understand why I don’t get anything done all day!” -Marie, New Jersey

“ADDers zone out while you are speaking with them.” -Amber Thompson, Ostrander, Ohio

“Fellow ADDers have a visceral feel for the problems we face. People without ADD/ADHD tend to think it’s a matter of effort, not of capacity.” -Barry Lewin, Arizona

“Not always. My biggest supporters are three people, without ADD/ADHD, who are calm, organized, and positive. They make a big effort to help me through the tough times. But I have the most fun with ADD/ADHD friends!” -An ADDitude reader

“ADDers are better listeners — even if they have trouble focusing on what I’m saying.” -Debbie, New York

Listening and Friendship Advice for Adult ADD/ADHD

Are You Listening? How to Shine in Social Settings with ADD/ADHD
5 Ways to Listen Effectively with Adult ADD/ADHD
How to Build Better Relationships: Advice for ADD/ADHD Adults

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