Through the years, my ADHD husband and I have learned to communicate positively. But when he forgets something (paying a bill, say), I feel the old resentment bubbling up.
by Melissa Orlov
It’s unrealistic to think that you won’t get angry with your spouse — or he with you. It happens. The key is to respond to your anger in more productive ways than you did in the past.
Try the following four steps:
1. Acknowledge that you don’t feel angry most of the time—and put his recent misstep into perspective by recalling all the good things he has done.
2. Address the issue that made you angry: Get your phone service restored and take over paying bills yourself.
3. When you’ve calmed down, tell your husband — nicely — why you were angry. Be sure that he agrees beforehand to discuss this, and focus your conversation on the cause for your anger, not on him.
4. Forgive yourself for becoming angry, and forgive him his lapse. You are both human.