"When my son gets angry, he will immediately push someone. What can I suggest as an alternative?"
by Michele Novotni, Ph.D.
Unstructured situations can be a challenge for ADHD children. Your suggestions for alternative behaviors sound excellent. In addition, you may want to help him learn to internalize better control and be better able to go on "automatic pilot" when a difficult situation pops up in such an unstructured setting.
It may be helpful to write down what it is that he gets angry about each time on a chart to see if you can restructure or resolve any of the issues.
You may also want to practice in advance through role-play or visualization so that appropriate responses can become more automatic. When you do something repeatedly in practice, it is more likely to occur when the situation pops up. Perhaps you could also use cue cards with him before playing to serve as a prompt to help him remember to control his anger.
He may also find an appropriate anger venting strategy helpful when he comes home such as hitting tennis balls or punching a punching bag or pillow. Another strategy would be to help structure those unstructured situations as much as possible or at least minimize the amount of time he spends in those situations for now.