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Ask the Parenting Expert:
Michele Novotni, Ph.D.
Teenage Son Needs Help
Q:
"My son is 17 and was diagnosed with ADD when he was 15 and a sophomore in high school. He usually gets good grades and rarely gets into trouble. However, we are concerned about his social skills. His friends used to call all of the time, but now it just goes in spurts. Things seem to be getting worse, and my husband and I don't know what to do."
A:
It sounds like you are very observant and have taken a number of positive steps which could be of help to your son if he were willing to work in this area. Unfortunately if your "help" is not helping, it isn't help. You may need to wait until your son realizes his difficulty before he will be responsive to your feedback and suggestions. Most people strongly desire to be liked by others and be connected. It's a very strong motivator and hopefully will facilitate his desire to grow in the area of social skills and relationships.
In the meantime you could try to support him in the following ways:
- You may find it helpful to leave the book, What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't? (Specialty Press, 1999), in a location in his sight but not as an obvious, direct hint. He may pick it up on his own when you aren't watching.
- If he has a difficult time reading, he may also benefit from some of the short, informative articles or answers in ADDitude magazine. These may also be left around in a convenient place.
- You may contact his school counselor and ask the school personnel to help keep an eye on his social relationships, especially when he is working in small groups.
It's a good sign that others are still willing to go out with him and that he's not left home alone so he must be doing something right!
Dr. Michele Novotni is an internationally recognized expert in the field of ADHD. She is the former president and CEO of the national Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), an inspiring speaker, best selling author, psychologist, coach and parent of a young adult with AD/HD. She is author of Adult AD/HD and What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?.
Michele was the lead facilitator and lobbyist in the creation of national ADD Awareness Day (the third Wednesday in September). She was awarded the national "Make a Difference Award" by the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA) in 2005 and ADDA originated The Novotni Scholarship Fund to assist college students with AD/HD in her honor.
 2 Comments:
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Posted by
Karen
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Apr 10 2008 @ 12:39 AM
IEP and Federal Law
Federal law says that your son has a right to an education that fits his needs. Write a letter to the school and ask for an IEP meeting. Get a counselor to go to the meeting with you to be your advocate. Services are available but you need to learn your rights.
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Posted by
nurseangel44
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Mar 11 2008 @ 9:16 AM
My teenage son needs help
My son was dx with adhd/ borderline aspergers at age 6, he is now in high school a sophomore,he has no friends and has always been an a-b student until high school.He made a 116 on his gateway. he goes nowhere, anti-drug and alcohol. He has recently went on homeschool because of social skills and him being bullied and getting into trouble by defending him self by calling names and smacking 1 person,He is so worried about the threats he gets of people saying I'll get you after class, someone wrote I'm Gay on his bookbag, They go through is bookbag and take things, yet the school does not address that problem.Because my son is adhd he is automatically at fault. The high school said he is going to fail 10th grade, said they will send a teacher out 2x a week, it has been 3 weeks since he has seen a teacher, It is like they do not care. My son wants to attend a airforce highschool, he is so smart, but I don't have the money as I have 3 younger children. I am so afraid of my son being a statistic and being lost in society. He has so much to offer...
I feel a need to start a rally or walk or something for adhd etc., My son is lost He needs help and I don't know where to turn, PLEASE HELP!
Crystal Miller
nurseangel44@hotmail.com
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