Adult ADHDParenting ADHD ChildrenADHD TreatmentADHD and Learning DisabilitiesAttention Deficit
PrintEmailDiscuss 1 COMMENTS!RSS

Son Acts Withdrawn

Q:

"My 10-year-old son is very withdrawn and acts depressed in social situations. When an adult speaks to him or asks his name, he just mumbles and won't look them in the face. His father and I have told him how this embarrasses us and have practiced social skills with him. He seems so sad at times and we want to help him. Any suggestions?"

A:

Many people with ADHD also struggle with depression. ADHD wears people out and can sometimes take a toll on one's self esteem. This combination often can lead to depression, which can make many reluctant to engage in social interactions.

I recommend having your son evaluated by a psychologist or psychiatrist for depression. It will be important to understand the reasons for his sadness and withdrawn behavior before effective social strategies can be developed to help him. Given your description of his behavior, it does not appear to be a skill deficit problem.

As you anticipated, it is best to avoid putting pressure on him by emphasizing how his behavior embarrasses you. It is important to realize that this is not a personal reflection on you or your competence as a parent. It sounds like he needs love and acceptance as you all work through whatever emotional issues he may be feeling. I wish you well.

Dr. Michele Novotni is an internationally recognized expert in the field of ADHD. She is the former president and CEO of the national Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), an inspiring speaker, best selling author, psychologist, coach and parent of a young adult with AD/HD. She is author of Adult AD/HD and What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?.

Michele was the lead facilitator and lobbyist in the creation of national ADD Awareness Day (the third Wednesday in September). She was awarded the national "Make a Difference Award" by the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA) in 2005 and ADDA originated The Novotni Scholarship Fund to assist college students with AD/HD in her honor.

1 Comments:

  • Posted by notgivinguporin - Feb 26 2009 @ 12:20 AM
    Situation Specific or Depression?
    Although my daughter has improved with age and experience (participating in team sports has especially helped), her teacher(s) have remarked how withdrawn and stoic she is in school. When at home, however, or with close friends, she's anything but. She's gregarious, joy-full and simply relaxed. Can it be that specific social situations are the real issue rather than a global issue of being depressed? Although I wouldn't dream of commenting on another child's condition & agree wholeheartedly that an evaluation is appropriate, I also wonder if specific situations "trigger" withdrawal without necessarily involving depression per se.
Join ADDitude or log in now to add your comments.
ADDitude DirectoryFind Professionals
Find Schools and Camps
Find Products
Free Newsletter
Free Gift with Sign Up
Adult ADHD
Managing your time, career & relationships
Success at School
Keep kids learning! Tips for parents and teachers
Parenting ADD/LD Kids
Strategies for behavior, nutrition, friends & more
 
Copyright © 1998 - 2007 New Hope Media LLC. All rights reserved. Your use of this site is governed by our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
ADDitude does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only. See additional information.
New Hope Media, 39 W. 37th Street, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10018