Help for a Floundering Son


"Where do I begin to look for someone to coach my son? He is 21 and is really floundering as far as holding down a job and life responsibilities. My husband and I are desperate to help him, but we don't know where to begin.

"I can tell that my son feels like a failure at everything he attempts. He is so smart, but can't seem to stay focused long enough to utilize his abilities. I am not sure if he is even taking his medication on a regular basis." - CJ, Nevada


Begin by taking a deep breath. You are not alone in feeling a sense of desperation in watching your son flounder. The good news is that there are many resources available for those with AD/HD, much more than any other country in the world. To locate resources for your son check out, , , and

A coach can help your son design a strategy for remembering to take his meds on schedule, as well as remembering to do his laundry. When the "basics" are taken care of first, it makes life more manageable. Structure and routine are very important for individuals with attention deficit disorder to succeed in utilizing their abilities well. Watching anyone who is smart fall short of making the most of their talents is always disheartening.

Your son is a fortunate young man to have parents who care so much. Keep believing in him and continue to shower him with love. He has to do the hard work that is needed to create structure and discipline in his everyday life, but with caring support, that task will be much easier to do. Take care and keep on keepin' on!

Sandy Maynard lives in Washington, DC where she operates Catalytic Coaching. She was instrumental in the development of The National Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Coaching Guidelines and a founding board member for the Institute for the Advancement of AD/HD Coaching (IAAC). Sandy lectures internationally and is a regular contributor to ADDitude.
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