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Ask The Organizer:
Sandy Maynard
How Can ADD Moms Teach Good Habits?
Q:
"How do I help my ADHD children learn basic skills, like following routines and organizing, when I struggle with them myself as a mom with ADD?"
ADDitude Magazine
A:
Here are two rules to remember: First, put on your own oxygen mask. Meaning, unless you take care of yourself, it will be difficult to take care of your children who have attention deficit disorder.
Second, you need not do it alone. For example, you remind your daughter to use her school planner, she reminds you to use your PDA. Turn this into a game by saying: "I know where my PDA is right now. Do you know where your planner is?"
One mother I worked with awarded prizes/praise/hugs to her kids when they returned her PDA to its shelf by the phone if they found it anywhere else in the house.
If you're talking complete chaos, start by setting a basic schedule: Get up and go to bed at the same time every day. Involve every member of the family in projects like spring cleaning. Don't be afraid to reach out to an organized family member (an aunt, grandmother, or cousin). Ask this person to come over and assist you with cleaning out your files or helping your child organize his room. Then, take her out to dinner as a thank-you.
A pioneer in the field of coaching people with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Ms. Maynard was instrumental in the development of The National Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Coaching Guidelines and a founding board member for the Institute for the Advancement of AD/HD Coaching (IAAC). She is a certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and utilizes a holistic health and wellness approach with her clients. Ms. Maynard lives in Washington, DC where she operates Catalytic Coaching. Sandy lectures internationally and is a regular contributor to ADDitude magazine.
 4 Comments:
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Posted by
ky_minx
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Apr 1 2009 @ 12:47 PM
Moved to tears!
15 minutes into this site and I'm brought to tears. To summarize, these tears are from thoughts such as: "Oh my gosh, I hadn't really realized just how big or how many people are dealing with the same issues as I am. I am soooo glad I found this site!" Feeling a little less alone knowing that there are people just as unique as I brings a great deal of comfort. At the age of 45 I thought I'd never find anyone who would (or could) relate to me and I'd be forever friendless. It's never been for the lack of trying but people come and go because they either don't understand me, they blame me for their unhappiness, they are jealous/envious, intimidated by me or they feel a need to compete with me. Being misinterpreted has been a hard road but the lessons learned are now helping me to readjust myself to someone that the general population is ABLE to relate to. This site, however, fills that everlasting desire of, "I just want to be accepted. I just want to be ME!"
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Posted by
jaelynrae08
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Mar 24 2009 @ 1:48 PM
You are not alone!
I struggle with this ALL the time. I always have the best of intentions, and motivations, usually late at night when it is too late to do something meaningful with my kids and by the next morning that motivation is gone. We have it a little worse, we both have Bipolar Disorder and ADHD but the feelings are along the same lines. I have come to the realization that you can't compare yourself to other parents, because even parents without a mood disorder will do things differently. We just go with what works for us as that moment and embrace our uniqueness. One tip is that we make organizing a game. We bought a few shelves with multiple bins to sort out toys each night and whoever can do it the fastest gets to pick the bedtime story. To help remember where thigns go, I went on the internet and printed a picture (or a few) of what should go in each bin (i.e. legos, dolls, electronic toys like a leapster, etc) and taped it to the front to help us all remember. It has proven to be very helpful. On the flip side we have just learned to accept ourselves and not stress all the time about a slightly messy house. It just isnt worth it. Bottom line, DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP, I AM SURE YOU ARE A GREAT MOM! :)
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Posted by
kbrindle2002
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Feb 27 2009 @ 9:30 AM
Easier said then done...
Yup, I always start out great motivated to be the best ADD parent with an ADHD child, but then two weeks later...I am back to no organization, house a mess, etc..:)
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Posted by
bjb1
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Jan 21 2009 @ 6:31 PM
Sample Schedule
Do you happen to have a sample schedule for being up at 6:30 am and out the door at 7am then not getting home till 6pm or 6:30 pm? I am a working mom with ADD and both my sons have ADHD and with such little time I am having a hard time. thanks.
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