   
Paying Attention During Conversation
Q:
"I sometimes laugh late at jokes or have to ask people to repeat what they said. How can I make my friends (and coworkers) understand that I'm not an idiot, even though I often miss comments or take a little longer to process information?"
A:
Whenever possible, do what you can to minimize distraction. Try not to eat in noisy restaurants, for example, and try to position yourself so you face away from windows, the TV screen, or other sources of distraction that are in the room where you're conversing. When you miss something, there's no shame in asking someone to repeat it. It's better to ask than to miss an important comment, or reply off-topic, because you guessed wrong about what the person has said. Go ahead and say, "I'm sorry, I missed that last part. Can you repeat it?" or "I got caught up in another thought there. I don't want to miss what you said, so please tell me again."
Dr. Tuckman is a clinical psychologist in West Chester, Pennsylvania.
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