Published on

Why Won't My ADHD Wife Change Her Ways?

"My wife has adult ADHD and only changes her distracted, disorganized ways when I threaten a divorce -- why?"

by Melissa Orlov

Your extreme actions seem to hyperfocus your wife’s attention on working with you to meet your needs. Unfortunately, such intense focus lasts only a short time, which is why she reverts to her distracted self when things settle down.

I’m sure this emotional rollercoaster is painful and disappointing for both of you. Your marriage will succeed only if your wife takes responsibility for treating her ADHD symptoms more effectively, and you learn to meet her halfway. Her doctor may be able to reduce her distraction by adjusting her treatment plan -- by introducing a different ADHD medication or behavior therapy, or recommending an exerciseregimen, for instance.

And you should weigh your own priorities: Is it more important for your wife to be a neatnik around the house or to be emotionally available to you? Compromising is a win-win situation for both of you: Some of your needs get met, and she will appreciate that you’re acknowledging and working with her ADHD symptoms.

Copyright © 1998 - 2013 New Hope Media LLC. All rights reserved. Your use of this site is governed by our
Terms of Service ( and
Privacy Policy (
ADDitude does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only.
See additional information at
New Hope Media, 39 W. 37th Street, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10018

Adult ADHD | Parenting ADHD Children | ADHD Treatment | School & Learning Disabilities | About ADHD | ADHD Resources | ADHD Community
Source: Why Won't My ADHD Wife Change Her Ways?