Afraid of Being Dumped...Again


"I am dating a wonderful woman, but I am afraid she will dump me, which has happened to me several times before. How can I overcome my fears?"


Maybe you didn’t find the right person to love you before this, or you may have some personality traits that hurt your chances of having a permanent relationship.

Talk with a coach about the reasons for your previous breakups. If you are at fault for them, figure out what you did wrong. Your ex-girlfriends may have told you that you are self-centered. You could work with your counselor to change that.

What I’m worried about is that your fears will scare off the woman who actually loves you. If you keep your distance, you will ensure that the relationship will fail. Be open and trust the love she shares with you.

Melissa Orlov is coauthor of a blog on ADHD and marriage on She is also author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage (Specialty Press).

Melissa Orlov is a marriage consultant, specializing in helping ADHD-affected couples rebalance their relationships. She is a cum laude graduate of Harvard College and the author of the award-winning books: The ADHD Effect on Marriage and The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD. She blogs for and Psychology Today and has been interviewed by The New York Times, CNN, Today, US News and World Report, and CBS, among many others.

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