Tired, Tense Parents

Q:

“My husband and I have ADHD, and our daughter was recently diagnosed with it. Helping her has increased tension between us. Can we calm things down?”

Melissa Orlov, a frequent ADDitude contributor with Dr. Ned Hallowell, writes about ADHD and marriage and offers relationship advice to adults with ADD.
A:

The most important thing you can do for you and your daughter about her attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD) diagnosis is to provide unconditional love. Laugh about the predicaments in which you find yourselves, and try not to compare your family to others. Give lots of hugs, and find things at which your daughter excels.

Getting organized and creating structure won’t be easy. Don’t be shy about enlisting a coach or an organizer to help out, as you work with your daughter to manage her symptoms.

Note: As you try to simplify your life, be sure not to eliminate together time or romance. It’s essential to your success as a couple.

Note: ADDitude does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only. See additional information. While comments are appreciated, due to the high volume of inquiries we receive, there is no guarantee that either ADDitude or the expert will respond to follow-up questions.

Melissa is co-author of a blog on ADHD and marriage at adhdmarriage.com, and coauthored Married to Distraction with Dr. Ned Hallowell and his wife, Sue. She is also the author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage.

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