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Telling My Partner I Have ADHD
Q:
How -- and when -- should I tell my significant other that I have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)? The last boyfriend I told acted as if I had bubonic plague and ended the relationship. 
A:
Tell a person about your attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) after you feel close enough to think he or she should know. As you explain the condition to your partner, give them a copy of Delivered from Distraction or another book that will tell them everything they need to know about the condition -- in a positive way. Make sure your partner understands that you are more than your ADD symptoms, that there is a person underneath the inattention and impulsivity. Explain that you are doing your best to manage those symptoms through medication and/or alternative treatments. ADD is an integral part of who you are, and it is important for any potential long-term partner to know about it. If a person ends a relationship after you tell them, they're probably not a good choice for you. You want to be with someone who understands the challenges you’re facing, not someone who runs away from them.
Melissa is co-author of a blog on ADHD and marriage at adhdmarriage.com, and is currently writing Married to Distraction with Dr. Ned Hallowell and his wife, Sue.
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