Why Won't My ADHD Wife Change Her Ways?

7 Comments:

• Posted by lillyjane - Oct 2 2009 @ 1:40 PM
  Same situation
  My husband talks about divorce every couple of years. He says I'm killing him by making him live in a messy house. He needs a very neat house or else he cannot relax and his blood pressure stays too high. We have a little girl and we are a loving family and I refuse to divorce, but legally, I can't stop him if that's what he chooses to do. I feel so badly for all of us. I want him to be happy, but this is such a struggle for us! Why does this have to be so hard? I wish our needs complemented each other rather than clashed. It's like we're allergic to each other's issues. I used to resent his demands. He seemed so insensitive and selfish. But really, I think he just has his own issues, his own needs, and lacks the maturity to handle mine along with his own. It's just too much for him. He's like a 14-year-old trapped in a grown-up's body. I doubt he'll be able to change that, just as I can't shed my ADD. Sure wish I could!!!
• Posted by margie - Jul 30 2009 @ 10:27 PM
  Let him go!
  NO one can live with a roller coaster of ultimatums like that!
• Posted by margie - Jul 30 2009 @ 10:24 PM
  Exactly!
  No one deserves a roller coaster of ultimatums like that. Geeez...like our brains aren't confused enough!!!!
• Posted by stormyandy - Jul 30 2009 @ 5:24 AM
  You are so right Melanie
  Why can't people accept one another for who they are? I tolerated all the crazy traits of my wife and her crazy family but my distraction and disorganization were too much for her to deal with. All these behaviors were around before, but now we have labels for them so we can focus more on individual behaviors than the whole person.
• Posted by kerrycroucher@telus.ca - Jul 30 2009 @ 12:33 AM
  Best advice I ever got
  Once I asked my Dr for meds because I kept getting on the wrong side of friends. She told me, "You don't need Ritalin, you need better friends.Quit hanging out with insecure people!" I think taking responsibility for your ADD is very important, but surrounding yourself with those who love you for who you are is as important too. I once apologized to my husband for my ADD and he said "Are you kidding me? Your're the most exciting woman I've ever met.I never know what's going to happen next!"
• Posted by kerrycroucher@telus.ca - Jul 30 2009 @ 12:31 AM
  Best advice I ever got
  Once I asked my Dr for meds because I kept getting on the wrong side of friends. She told me, "You don't need Ritalin, you need better friends.Quit hanging out with insecure people!" I think taking responsibility for your ADD is very important, but surrounding yourself with those who love you for who you are is as important too.
• Posted by Melanie Barbour - Jul 29 2009 @ 4:20 PM
  This is so unfair
  It is not her fault. And to threaten her with divorce is just wrong. My husband up and left me for this same type of stuff. I ndid the best I could and I overlooked a lot of his faults. And I loved him unconditionally. Isn't that what a marriage is about? Loving someone when it isn't easy and loving someone despite their faults? The fact that you threaten her with divorce makes me sick. I hope she leaves you. You're a selfish pig. Maybe you should stop being such a jackass and realise the things you hate about your wife were probably the qualities you found endearing when you first met.