When Both Partners Are Diagnosed: Understanding the Other's ADHD

It sounds like he is trying to shame you into doing better. Perhaps your husband believes you’re using ADHD as an excuse for your disorganization.

First, help him understand that his anger and criticism damage your self-esteem and your marriage. Ask him to be loving and supportive, not critical.

Since he thrives on staying organized, work with him on specific strategies for creating a less cluttered home, while gently reminding him of your many contributions to the household.

Develop a system that takes advantage of your combined strengths — he keeps the house organized, you work with the children on homework and their recreational activities. A balanced approach should solve the problem.