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Ask the Adult ADD Expert:
Ari Tuckman
To Tell or Not to Tell ... Someone They Have ADHD
Q:
I suspect that my sweet, wonderful daughter-in-law may have adult ADD. Should I speak with my son about my concerns—or with her directly?
A:
Try speaking with your daughter-in-law directly, using the same caring tone conveyed in your question. Don’t put a label on her struggles right away. Just say that it seems that she has to work harder to stay on top of everything.
If she opens up to you about it, suggest that ADHD may be causing her difficulties, and that perhaps she should be evaluated. If she seems guarded, tell her you’d be happy to speak about it another time.
If she seems truly uncomfortable talking about it after several gentle attempts, share your concerns with your son. At that point, the ball is in their court and you will need to wait on the sidelines, cheering her on in other ways.
Dr. Tuckman is a clinical psychologist in West Chester, Pennsylvania.
 2 Comments:
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Posted by
WhirlingBlades
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Jul 14 2009 @ 11:43 AM
I agree!
I was diagnosed in my mid 30's and it wasn't the realization that I had ADD that was so difficult to come to terms with, it was mourning all the years that were wasted and the wake of unfinished work/projects that only became apparent after I had the support of medication. If someone had known that I needed help, helping myself, it could have saved a tremendous amount of pain. One aspect of my ADD manifests in my struggle to simply make an appointment or dropping a letter into a mailbox - it's not unlike unlocking an old car with a coat hanger. (ooo! I almost got it that time)- But, if the appointment is made, I can get there.
While you can't help someone who doesn't ask for help, symptoms of ADD/ADHD can make it impossible for the patient to ask for help or seek it themselves. If they seem to be in denial, encourage them to let you make an appointment with a doctor to eliminate something more serious as the cause of their difficulties. Chances are, they will welcome the help and it's important that you call the doctor and have them make the appointment while you are standing there. DO NOT LEAVE IT UP TO THE INDIVIDUAL - they are bound to get distracted in the process.
Untreated ADD/ADHD is NOT a state of easy-going bliss - it is a silent yet painful struggle that is easily treated. Thank you for caring enough to help.
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Posted by
controled chaos
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Jun 16 2009 @ 10:21 AM
Tell someone if you think they might have ADHD
If it wasent for me being told I might have never found myself, the struggle being alone does not compare to being told you might. I have not only found that medication works but I have also and most importantly found that thru ADHD I have found my gift in life and am blessed with the gift of ADHD.
thank You,
Ron Sorenson
The A.D.D. Poet
www.a-d-d-free.com
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