Distracted Hubby Leavin' You Lonely?

Filed Under: ADHD and Relationships, ADHD and Marriage

Q:

I’m lonely! My husband is too distracted to pay attention to me. What should I do?

Melissa Orlov, a frequent ADDitude contributor with Dr. Ned Hallowell, writes about ADHD and marriage and offers relationship advice to adults with ADD.
A:

It is easy to interpret your spouse’s distraction as lack of love for you. Don’t! Chances are, he loves you a lot, but his ADD is getting in the way.

Though it sounds unromantic, scheduling time together will ensure that you get the quantity and quality of attention you need. Take trips together to eliminate his distractions and help him focus on you. Schedule time to make love. Consider whether medication might reduce his distraction.

Finally, set the alarm 10 minutes early every day and spend those minutes cuddling and telling each other how much you love each other. It’s a great way to start the day.

Melissa is co-author of a blog on ADHD and marriage at adhdmarriage.com, and coauthored Married to Distraction with Dr. Ned Hallowell and his wife, Sue. She is also the author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage.

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