Distracted Hubby Leavin' You Lonely?


I’m lonely! My husband is too distracted to pay attention to me. What should I do?

Melissa Orlov, a frequent ADDitude contributor with Dr. Ned Hallowell, writes about ADHD and marriage and offers relationship advice to adults with ADD.

It is easy to interpret your spouse’s distraction as lack of love for you. Don’t! Chances are, he loves you a lot, but his ADD is getting in the way.

Though it sounds unromantic, scheduling time together will ensure that you get the quantity and quality of attention you need. Take trips together to eliminate his distractions and help him focus on you. Schedule time to make love. Consider whether medication might reduce his distraction.

Finally, set the alarm 10 minutes early every day and spend those minutes cuddling and telling each other how much you love each other. It’s a great way to start the day.

Melissa Orlov is a marriage consultant, specializing in helping ADHD-affected couples rebalance their relationships. She is a cum laude graduate of Harvard College and the author of the award-winning books: The ADHD Effect on Marriage and The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD. She blogs for adhdmarriage.com and Psychology Today and has been interviewed by The New York Times, CNN, Today, US News and World Report, and CBS, among many others.

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