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Ask the Adult ADD Expert:
Sandy Maynard
Getting Help Around the House
Q:
"How can I get my ADHD husband to do his fair share of the
housework? I don't like having to hound him, but I'm tired of doing
everything myself."
A:
Be sure that he's actually heard your request. Don't ask him to do
something while his attention is focused on something else (TV, work, etc.). And keep your requests simple. If you ask, "Honey, can you take out the trash before you go to work?" he'll probably start worrying about everything he has to do before going to workâand get little done.
Always show your appreciation. Catch your husband doing something
helpful, and praise him, citing specifics: "Thanks for bringing your
dishes to the kitchen. It's so much nicer when we work together." If
that doesn't work, try humor. Or take a deep breath, and let it go. It probably won't matter 10 years from now.
A pioneer in the field of coaching people with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Ms. Maynard was instrumental in the development of The National Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Coaching Guidelines and a founding board member for the Institute for the Advancement of AD/HD Coaching (IAAC). She is a certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and utilizes a holistic health and wellness approach with her clients. Ms. Maynard lives in Washington, DC where she operates Catalytic Coaching. Sandy lectures internationally and is a regular contributor to ADDitude magazine.
 3 Comments:
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Posted by
poconomom
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Apr 21 2009 @ 2:17 PM
Are you joking?
Obviously you don't live with an ADD spouse. I have been married over 15 years and each year it gets harder. I am the only one who pays bills, grocery shops, makes sure kids (14 and 12 - 12 has ADHD) get their work done, cleans, does laundry etc.. and I have a full time job (I'm an accountant). It wouldn't be so bad if he stuck to a budget or game plan but he doesn't do that either! I am VERY tired and 10 years from now sounds like 100 years from now to me. If I were to drop dead he wouldn't have a clue where to start. I worry constantly about what would happen to my kids if I were to die since he has no organizational skills at all. He leaves a trail where he has been - and he is on medication - he takes the maximum dosage for concerta but it doesn't seem to help. So Sandy before you start giving theoretical advice why don't you come live at my house for a month or two - you may change your tune!
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Posted by
cherub
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Aug 25 2008 @ 9:47 PM
I am not sure if I can take ADD anymore!
My husband (ADD non-medicated, my father-in-law(ADD and is clueless)and my 13 year old son (ADD/ADHD medicated) and my self all live together and managing 3 lives plus my own is becoming tiring. I impletment some form of orginazation and its just ignored or laughed at. What do I do to get through to these people I mean buisness! and I dont have ADD
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Posted by
hiswife
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Apr 9 2008 @ 4:54 PM
will it matter in ten years?
I find that question quite intriguing. Statistically speaking, will there even be a marriage in ten years?
I wonder if those who ask that question have ever lived with one of these ADD adults. Do they know how frustrating it can be? Do they know how lonely it can be?
Do they understand how tiring it can be trying to manage two lives day by day by day?
Incidentally I have been married to mine for almost 35 years, and have him almost trained. I think I'll keep him. :)
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