Defusing ADD Blow-Ups

Q:

"My boyfriend has ADD and is extremely sensitive. How can I stop him from blowing up each time I offer the slightest criticism?"

A:

Do certain situations always trigger his anger? If so, see if there's anything you can do differently. If getting out of the house on time is a major source of conflict, for example, try giving him a 15-minute warning.

And think carefully about the language you use when talking to him. Don't use "blaming" statements, such as "You are... " or "You did..." Use "I" statements, like "I feel..."

Find a non-threatening time to talk with him about his anger. If he doesn't take medication (part of managing anger is improving impulse control), suggest that he give it a try. Ask what support you can provide, and come up with strategies together. If you feel you need help, consult a therapist.

Dr. Michele Novotni is an internationally recognized expert in the field of ADHD. She is the former president and CEO of the national Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), an inspiring speaker, best selling author, psychologist, coach and parent of a young adult with AD/HD. She is the author of Adult AD/HD and What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?.

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