Leave Me Alone!

6 Comments:

• Posted by Perkiepoo - Nov 17 2009 @ 2:02 PM
  I hear you Lola!
  I really relate to what you are saying, Lola! The only time I can really relax and be myself if when I'm alone. I have the same conflicts. Here's how I try to make the best of it: 1) I have found I enjoy maintaining my friendships via Facebook and email, with occasional lunches. I feel included, I see pictures and have day-to-day contact, but at my speed and my time. I don't socialize during work hours, because I need every second to get my work done, but I "visit" my friends at night. 2) I also tell my friends and family that I am a Happy Hermit but I love them and I want them in my life...but I am easily overwhelmed and it is not their fault. Keep telling friends and family you love them but you struggle with severe energy drain in social situations, so you save your energy for special occasions. P.S. Self-hatred eats up a lot of available energy. I fight that, too, but meds, therapy, and cognitive therapy helps. Good luck!
• Posted by lola - Oct 20 2009 @ 6:53 AM
  wanting to be alone a lot
  I just want to say I can really understand, and really identify, with what you were saying. I often have this feeling of wanting to be alone a lot - hate it when the phone rings, seem to need a lot more 'down' time than others (than my husband and young sons do, for instance). It's hard because it seems like a lot of people don't understand, take it personally (think I don't like THEM), or think it's weird, and it runs into direct conflict with the customs, habits, expectations, desires and needs of others -- of my immediate and extended family as well as our community. It also gets really tiring and depressing, really demoralizing. there's this pressure to do this and this and that, and I try, but then i hit a wall and can't do more, so have to beg off. then stay at home and feel like a freak, loser, shut-in who's abandoning her husband and kids and not fulfilling her social obligations. also I am very bad at dealing with it when I have to leave - like we just moved- and i hardly told anyone. and i feel terrible. grinding my teeth all night, aching jaw in morning, feeling worse about self than often, feeling really bad hurt people. I know I have hurt people by leaving. hate saying goodbye, feel can't explain, justify, feel wronged people by leaving when we've become friends. feel now, in new place, like want to wear a sign saying beware. stay away from me. I'll just leave you in the end, or make trying to be friends with me an awful, confusing and painful experience because I go back and forth between wanting to 'be in the world' and have friends, and NOT, and I can't control when I'll feel this way. And, could you maybe just be nice to me? because I'm not evil, I just don't want to get close to anyone a lot of the time b/c a lot of the time I hate myself. but could you be nice to my kids, b/c they need friends, and what do I do about that.
• Posted by noexcuses - Jun 24 2009 @ 5:18 PM
  There's nothing wrong with you -
  You're just introverted. It's just as much a part of a person's character as being male or female (though not nearly as hard coded). You get energized by quiet activity and thought, while being depleted by having to engage with large groups of people. There's nothing wrong with that. Just know that most other people are entirely the opposite. Not only that, don't concern yourself so much with trying to be more sociable; you're just going to frustrate yourself, and besides, you'll take more value in the friends you have and are very close to than the many "friends" that more social people have (who in the end, often aren't very intimate). Of course, you could be stuck with my case, where I'm naturally extraverted but have developed a few complexes due to the whole ADHD thing - getting bored with boring people, inability to stick with a group activity due to something else catching my eye (and gravitating toward it because the energy drain from the boredom is much worse than the drain from not being around people), not to mention the whole "saying something profoundly stupid every once in a while", and yes, the monopolizing conversation, difficulty regulating vocal volume, and hypersensitivity to criticism. Aren't our personal crosses so much fun to bear?
• Posted by skwright - Jun 11 2009 @ 3:47 PM
  leave me alone
  I look for ways to beat the crowds. Movies the best time to go: Mon-thur, kids movies late at night, adult movies before 6 pm. Best time to go to the gym: 8 or 9 am, mid afternoon before 3 pm, or late night 9 PM. I don't like crowds I want to do what I need to do (ex. grocery shopping) and get out. Less frustrating w/ trying to socialize and I don't feel I have to watch what I say or do. I am unbalanced/uncoordinated at times and do not need an audience to watch me. I even work the night shift so I don't have to deal w/ all the extra people that work in Hospitals (more Dr.s, family, Staff) during the day shift.
• Posted by marian - Jun 10 2009 @ 3:23 PM
  leave me alone!
  i can certainly relate to being alone and some peace and tranquility; people who are not BLESSED with adhd just do not understande what they are missing out on; i personally would not be any other way
• Posted by Susie - Jun 10 2009 @ 2:17 PM
  Leave me alone!
  I can totally relate to wanting to be alone most of the time. We live in such a social culture, where extroversion is seen as better than introversion. I think the world needs both kinds of people. In Asia, we might be seen as wise in wanting lots of alone time to be quiet and contemplate. I would like to learn to enjoy the company of others more, since so much of life is spent in the company of others. But I've had 6 years of therapy and medications and it hasn't changed my nature in that way.