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Picking Fights with Friends

Q:

"My husband keeps picking fights. What makes him do that, and how can I help keep him from ruining all his relationships?"

A:

It's possible that your husband enjoys the conflict. In her book on addiction and the ADD mind, When Too Much Isn't Enough, Wendy Richardson writes, "The energy produced by the conflict is painful, but it's also activating."

Find a calm time, and tell your husband how you feel when he picks on you—and what you see when he picks on others. Ask him what he gets out of this behavior, or what he expects to happen.

Kerch McConlogue is a Baltimore-based ADD coach.

1 Comments:

  • Posted by ADD RN - Apr 21 2008 @ 11:43 PM
    Who he picking fights with his or your friends ?
    It can make him calmer and feel less intimated by using it as defense so he isn't open up to be critizided about something . He may see it as the best defense is a good offense. Serotoin levels increase which is feel good hormone that is release during conflict so conflict soothes him sounds strange I know but it is true. He also may have a fear of being in realationship because in them you neeed to be ivolved; and this way can prove to himself they he wasn't wrong when they leave..
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