Just Diagnosed?Treating ADDParenting ADD/LD KidsSchool & Learning DisabilitiesAdult ADD/LD
PrintEmailDiscussRSS

Improving Eye Contact

Q:

"My eyes tend to wander during conversations. How can I get better at maintaining eye contact?"

A:

Whenever possible, position yourself so that you face away from windows, hallways, and other potential distractions. You might say something like, “Can we sit over here?” or just turn your body to gradually reposition the folks you’re talking to.

You might also tell close friends and family members that you’re trying to get better about maintaining eye contact during conversations. Let them know they have your permission to cue you to re-focus if your eyes wander. One of my clients tells people, “Feel free to let me know if my mind appears to go somewhere else. It’s not fully trained yet, and sometimes it leaves without my permission.”

If you take ADHD medication, consider whether your dosage regimen needs to be adjusted (for example, extra doses for “coverage” during evenings and weekends when you have social engagements).

Dr. Michele Novotni is an internationally recognized expert in the field of ADHD. She is the former president and CEO of the national Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), an inspiring speaker, best selling author, psychologist, coach and parent of a young adult with AD/HD. She is author of Adult AD/HD and What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?.

Michele was the lead facilitator and lobbyist in the creation of national ADD Awareness Day (the third Wednesday in September). She was awarded the national "Make a Difference Award" by the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA) in 2005 and ADDA originated The Novotni Scholarship Fund to assist college students with AD/HD in her honor.

2 Comments:

  • Posted by maxm - Jul 18 2008 @ 1:37 PM
    Eye contact
    When I noticed as a teenager that I couldn't maintain eye contact , it consciously worked at it and it does get better. At first I got frustrated because I couldn't focus on both eyes. It seemed impossible because my constant switching of focus would distract me completely from the conversation. One day I just asked a friend about this and he just told me : "Focus on one eye." So simple! So I just focus on the left eye , people can't really tell and it's a lot less distracting. I still do have to look away when I explain something that is complicated , because I would get distracted by people's expression while I'm explaining. That expression is not always neutral on an non-add , when they have to listen to my slightly messy but passionate explanations ;) While I explain I would still look in the direction of their face , but in the background. I also don't try to hide that I'm thinking while I'm speaking. Can't change that I'm afraid.
  • Posted by Robert Besaw - Feb 6 2008 @ 1:41 AM
    Eye Contact - Tactics
    I have a terrible time keeping eye contact. I was in outside sales for years dealing with people and that required one on one face time with all different people. This was long before I was diagnosed but I knew it was a problem. I learned to use props so there wasn't a lot of need to have constant eye contact. I would use my hands, contracts, or anything to allow me to move from one thing to his eyes. Now when I have to have meetings one on one I try to find people in transit so we can walk, get something to eat, or keep myself somewhat busy so it doesn't look like I'm avoiding the issue.
Join ADDitude or log in now to add your comments.
ADDitude DirectoryFind Professionals
Find Schools and Camps
Find Products
Free Newsletter
Free Gift with Sign Up
Adult ADHD
Managing your time, money, career & relationships
Success at School
Keep kids learning! Tips for parents and teachers
Parenting ADD/LD Kids
Strategies for behavior, nutrition, friends & more
 
Copyright © 1998 - 2007 New Hope Media LLC. All rights reserved. Your use of this site is governed by our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
ADDitude does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only. See additional information.
New Hope Media, 39 W. 37th Street, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10018