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I've Had 26 Jobs In The Last Six Years!
"I'm a 33 year-old man who has difficulty with reading and spelling. I've held dozens of jobs in the last few years. Now my wife wants to leave me and I don't blame her. Can you help me find a coach?"
I have four clients now that I am coaching, whose spouses have all threatened to leave them if they don't "do something about their ADHD!" I have told all four, that what is equally, if not more important than working with me, is that they seek marital counseling. Someone who is experienced and knowledgeable about relationships where one partner is affected and the other is not should facilitate it.
I have encouraged each client to provide his or her spouses with information about attention deficit disorder. I seem to notice that the couples that appear to be doing the best and have more secure and fulfilling relationships, are the ones where the non-ADHD spouse is knowledgeable and understanding about the disorder, as well as patient. Having a sense of humor in an ADHD relationship certainly helps too!
I have met many individuals with ADHD who are EXCELLENT in the selling part of sales. The aspect of the job that limits them the most is the paper work. Time management is also a problem due to the amount of travel that is often required. Another source of difficulty is keeping track of receipts for getting reimbursed for the travel expenses. Once these individuals are able to get an organized system in place to handle all the paper work and find a time management tool that meets their needs, they can become very successful... if they actually use the systems and tools. This is where a coaching intervention can be of great help.
I hope you find a coach soon, but more importantly I hope you are able to resolve any issues in your marriage that need attention also. Take care and just remember all the great qualities you have, many of which are ADHD related I'm sure, that attracted your wife in the first place. What's right and good about our experiences and ourselves is always a nice place to start
Sandy Maynard lives in Washington, DC where she operates Catalytic Coaching. She was instrumental in the development of The National Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Coaching Guidelines and a founding board member for the Institute for the Advancement of AD/HD Coaching (IAAC). Sandy lectures internationally and is a regular contributor to ADDitude.
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