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Learning To Let Go
"I don't have ADD, but my husband does. Can you suggest some ways to squelch my urge to 'control' my spouse?"
Every time you feel the urge, breathe. Note your posture and try to relax your body physically. Once the physical tension is gone, you can deal with the mental aspect.
The only person you can ever truly change is yourself, so that is where to start. If your spouse is doing something you do not agree with or approve of, pause to ask yourself, "Would I rather be right or happy?" The answer may allow you to let go and be less demanding in the situation.
Choose your battles carefully. Decide what is really important to you and discuss these things with your spouse. Think of it this way: If it will matter 10 years from now, speak up and work together to find a solution. If it won't matter 10 years from now, then there is probably no need to go to battle over it. Let it go.
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