|Living with Adult ADHD||ADHD in Women||Apps & Tools|
|Signs & Symptoms||Health & Sleep||Time Management|
|First 100 Days||ADHD at Work||Relationships|
|ADHD Parenting Home||Parenting Strategies||ADHD Teens||Summer Camps|
|Oppositional Defiant||Health & Nutrition||Social Skills||Homework Help|
|Discipline Fixes||Sleep||Organization Skills||Free Downloads|
|ADHD Treatment Home||Natural Treatments||Treating Kids|
|Medications||Diet & Nutrition||Treating Kids Naturally|
|Medication Reviews||Side Effects||First 100 Days|
|Learning Home||Homework Help||Learning Disabilities|
|School Accommodations||Organization Skills||Teachers' Guide|
|IEP/504 Plan||Behavior at School||ADHD/LD Schools|
|ADHD Symptoms Home||Self-Tests||ADHD in Women|
|ADHD Symptoms||Related Conditions||Diagnosing Kids|
|Types of ADHD||Diagnosing ADD||Dealing with Diagnosis|
|Give a Gift|
When Your Partner Refuses ADHD Treatment
My boyfriend refuses to get help for his attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). He says treatment will stunt his creativity -- and that’s “just how he is.” We argue every day over nothing. I have doubts about the relationship.
Your boyfriend is right. ADHD is part of who he is. That doesn’t mean you must put up with his ADD symptoms. Learning to live together involves compromise -- each person gives a little to make the relationship and the living arrangement work.
If his ADD symptoms are threatening your relationship, and he chooses to “protect” those symptoms rather than control them, his priorities might not be conducive to a long-term relationship. If his priorities remain the same, you need to decide whether or not this is the right relationship for you.
Even if he does decide to get help, you still need a strategy to resolve arguments. Research suggests that successful conflict resolution is vital to an enduring relationship. You and your partner can disagree about things, but make sure you are consistently able to settle conflicts before you think about marriage.
Melissa Orlov is a marriage consultant, specializing in helping ADHD-affected couples rebalance their relationships. She is a cum laude graduate of Harvard College and the author of the award-winning books: The ADHD Effect on Marriage and The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD. She blogs for adhdmarriage.com and Psychology Today and has been interviewed by The New York Times, CNN, Today, US News and World Report, and CBS, among many others.
What do you think of this article? Share your comments on www.ADDConnect.com, ADDitude's community site. Check out the new ADHD Medication User Reviews and the ADHD Adults Support Group. Your fellow ADDers want to hear from you!