This morning I told my son to put a book in his backpack while I went to the bathroom. It was the first time I had let him out of my sight all morning and I came back from the bathroom and there were papers all over the floor. He was like mom, you're suppose to take these papers out of my backpack everyday, but really he was trying to get a sucker. I yelled at him and lost my cool a little, but quickly reminded myself that it just makes the situation worse. He was late to school today, these things occur on a regular basis and It's very frustrating every single day. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD about a year ago, after a waiting list from a referral that took over 10 months. He has been doing behavioral therapy for over a year and is also taking medicine, which is hard to manage and seems like I have to change every other month. His dad is in and out of his life, we've been seperated for about 4 years. We have a custody agreement that says he gets every other weekend, so when he decides he wants to see him I have to allow it. He recently found out how much child support he owes and was really angry, threatening me that he was going to make my life a living hell and take my child away from me because I give him medicine. (He swears on the original court papers it says he is supposed to pay $26 monthly, but mine say "standard guidelines" so he thinks he can take the child away at any time because according to him our agreement is void since it doesn't say the same things). He also completely blames me for my son's behavior. I don't discipline him enough he says, and he says ADHD is not real and I am killing my child by giving him drugs. Also, I've tried to get him to talk to the doctor, or his therapist, or read things on ADHD with no luck. My son's behavior at school has became worse lately, He's just turning 6 and has never done well in the classroom, but recently he's became more anxious and worried about things. He always feels really bad after he makes a bad choice and he says things like he has no friends because he's bad all the time. Also, he talked about killing himself in class the other day and the school counselor has said they have to take things like that seriously and they could call the crisis team out in our state and admit him to a hospital. I've brought all these issues up with his doctor, and he changed the dose of his meds and is this week starting play therapy every week (in addition to the behavioral therapy every other week). I'm concered his anxiousness may be due to something his dad has said to him, but it could also be medication. Also, I have been working with the school since the beginning of the school year to get him on IEP. No luck yet, the teacher also said since he's not having much trouble with the academic part he wouldn't get much time. So, I'm not sure if I'm doing the right things to deal with my son's dad. Currently, I'm just going to wait and see if he actually serves me with papers to take visitation. I feel like the odds are in my favor, however there is a lot of "research" and "doctors" who believe what his dad does and I'm a little worried if it does go to court. Also, "I'm going to make your life a living hell" is too vague of a threat for me to get a VPO, I think. Secondly, I was also wondering how everyone else deals with the part of this where your really mad at your child often, and the social stigma part. I recently even stopped going to church because a lady told me that I just needed to make clear rules for my child (which I do). Cashiers and other parents in general always are giving unwanted advice or just staring, judging without even knowing us or our situation and it really frustrates me. I have never even took him on a playdate for fear of embarrassment. He used to be in kartate, but the coaches would always try to lecture me. He got kicked out of daycare at 4. He plays team sports on a regular basis, and still has problems there as well. As much as I'm worried about the behavior in public, I'm also so embarrassed myself and I kind of feel guily for being embarrassed. My final question is about lack of a support system for myself. I am going to school to become an RN (just over one year left!), I still work part-time and I feel like I just have no one in my corner. My mom passed away when my son was 2, and I've known for awhile now that I should take myself to a therapist. The thing that is holding me back is just that the only clininc in my area that does sliding scale fees based on income (I have no insurance) is more than 30 minutes away, and it seems like such a big time commitment to put on my plate along with everything else. So, my question is has anyone else tried therapy for themselves, and how was it? I know that this is not something that will go away, being diagnosed with ADHD is something that has changed my life and my son's as well and will continue to do so. I knew motherhood would be challenging, I think how my son was when he was a baby and dealing with the lack of sleep was definately not the hardest part as everyone says.

Quote