Boy do I relate. I'm twice your age. I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 40's. Consider yourself lucky.

Well my friend, there is good news and bad news. I'd make list of each but there is too much to reveal in one post.

First. This is just my opinion and experience. Yours will be yours. We are all different. Don't trust anything I say, find out for yourself, try things out, do what works for you and when some things stop working try something else.

ADHD does not go away. You need to manage it and use it to your advantage. No matter what you do it will probably kick you in the ass when you think you have it under control.

READ and LEARN. coming to this site was a great thing to do. Read everything you can. I particularly like Ned Hollowell http://www.drhallowell.com/ to learn what you have and the basics of dealing with it. His books are in most libraries and bookstores.

Medication does certain things to you, some you will like some you wont. I don't know why but pharmapsychology is more an art than a science. What works for one person does not work for another and your chemistry changes over time and you meds will need to as well. My experience with lots of friends, siblings, nieces, nephews and 2 of my own children tells me that it will be an ongoing adventure. The usual mistake is too low a dosage. When you have too little nothing happens, when you have too much you will know from the side affects. If you cant find a sweet spot than find a different drug. Once you find a sweet spot don't be surprised when it stops working after a few years. Just go through the exercise again.. Don't be afraid to change your dosage situationaly and time of day. One more thing about meds: it's unlikely you will be able to evaluate what works and what doesn't. My wife tells me when I need meds. I can't tell be she knows right away. For my kids in school I had to check with the teachers. I did not see them while the meds were working except on weekends and vacations. I monitored eating and sleeping habits, their ability to do homework and so forth. Between parents and teachers the meds got adjusted. Find people to help you. You know a ton of people with ADD 1 in seven or some other mental disorder 1 in 2 or 3.

To make matters worse according to Dr.. Barkley http://www.russellbarkley.org/ most Adders have additional disorders, depression is a leading one especially if you were not treated at an early age. About half of those diagnosed have 2 or more disorders. Addictions are common. Drug and alcohol (self medication) sex, gambling, smoking and others. Each one requiring it's own therapy and/ or medication.

So between all the potential issues and drug combo's you should get professional help to manage.

Some think 70% to 90% of those in jail have ADD / ADHD. Think about it. Between drugs and alcohol and inappropriate behavior or doing something stupid and getting caught it kind of makes sense.

Sounds bleak doesn't it? Well the next thing to worry about is your relationship with others. Your kind of weird no? Maybe a nerd or a Douche bag, Class clown or trouble maker. As you can tell from this post. I'm a fricken know-it-all most people hate that.

That's the bad newst. Now you know (a little). What the hell can you do about it? A lot.

Understanding and dealing with this part is the first step and most important step. You need to get over feeling shitty about the diagnosis. That can take a while. This is the best time to learn. Please understand there are millions of us out here who are going through the same thing.

I've never been close to jail or been in really bad emotional shape that some therapy, coaching and / or meds adjustment did not take care of quickly.. Relationships are another matter.

After that you need to live your life as best you can, recognize when your getting off track (find someone to tell you). and use tools and tricks that work for you.

There are lots of websites out there with Ideas and help and friendly people to get you through this.

Good luck and keep writing, it may be good therapy for you.

Augie ADDsherpa.com

PS. I was a Realtor from age 26 to 36.

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dude, you own this. you know exactly what it is and what it means to you because you've been living with it all your life. i bet you've got friends with ADD too. so the idea of identifying with ADD is nothing new to you because you know who you are, and the whole point of the meds is that you're trying to take care of your body and your mind as best you can, which is the responsable and adult thing to do, not giving up.

so yeah... i've had a lot of similar experiences, did great in school til i messed up with something in college, then been spending years building my confidence. in grad school now, back again for the second time, do great on tests but keep turning in my papers late. least it's better than last time when i freaked out and wouldn't turn them in at all.

so yeah, keeping this short, but yes i have felt like this. Hallowell has some good books, esp. driven to and delivered from distraction: http://www.drhallowell.com/ sounds like that retreat was good for you too so try some meditation, mindfulness is good, esp. lovingkindness if you can, it can be difficult at first if you're unhappy with yourself. and interestingly, for me focusing on sounds, kind of like your silent retreat, in essence. http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

i'd write more, but, you know. stuff to do.

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Hi,

Read your post. Like a true ADD sufferer I'll keep the story short! Lol! I'm an extreme sports, care free, crazy guy who is the life & soul of the party whom everyone loves. Managed to get a (basic) degree in mechanical engineering purely based on my intelligence (shrink told me that!)

What you have to understand is that if you have add it's a life changer. I was diagnosed at 34. Stopped taking meds at 35 as I thought I was capable of managing on my own and lost my love/fiancée after 6 1/2 yrs (36yrs) because she couldn't handle "us" .i.e. me being so "random".

You have to realize that unfortunately you WILL have to take ADD drugs for the rest of your life & it will enrich your life. Since I started again in fitter, sportier, healthier, and 100 times more productive... Really. Notice I'm not mentioning a brand. It makes me focussed & productive doing way more than normal & instead of being a " nice guy whose lovely & life & soul of the party" which most add non drug takers are ... Yes I'm more serious but I'm far more professional & attractive I better ways than the idiot who can drink the most etc... My ex now finds me incredibly attractive... Why... Because I'm the same crazy fool but I can now decide when to be "loose" & control it.

So there's your short answer! Good luck!

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I was 42 when I was diagnosed. For me, a diagnosis is all GOOD.

Maybe it seems to you, like you've been cubby-holed into a "broken" category. But that's not the way it works, in my opinion. It doesn't work like this: you got diagnosed, and therefore you have become broken. Rather, it works like this: you had some troublesome experiences, and now a diagnosis describes them better than any description you've ever had at your disposal in the past. So, your diagnosis is not a prison-sentence which defines the pre-determined troubles that you are now bound by fate to experience in the future. Rather, your diagnosis is a description of events and troubles that have already happened in your past.

For me, it was a wonderful description. Boy, I wanted, needed, LOVED that new description. Everything fell into place. All the little weird experiences that I seemed to have too many of? Shazam, they made sense. All the ways that life seemed out-to-get-me? Zoink, now I knew why. All the cost of effort I had to expend, which other people didn't seem to be expending? Wham, I got a rebate. All the extra coats and hats and strange fluffy winter clothes hanging off my shoulders, ears, nose, fingers, toes? Pow, my house got a very useful extra coat-hook.

Before my diagnosis, I had a bunch of random and unconnected understandings about my past, most of which didn't make sense. After my diagnosis, I could connect them. They no longer contradicted one another (thus leading to further confusion); rather, with diagnosis, my previously thwarted self-investigations started to hang together better. The various understandings stopped being mutually exclusive and contradictory. They started fitting into the same box together. Things I felt or knew about myself became sensible again.

And things that I did NOT know about myself also started to make sense. Lots of stuff I hadn't ever noticed, but which the ADD books said were common experiences of ADD-sufferers, started to pop up. Hey, the guy in the book had the same kind success at the same kind of weird math chess game in high school that I did; and the same kind of failure at the other half of math. Wow, the gal who liked baseball had the same disdain for umpires that I did, but also the same love of umpiring little kids' games that I have. Gee, could THOSE things have something to do with ... golly, gasp ... ADD?

Diagnosis = double-plus-good. So useful. So much better than no-diagnosis. Living in a dark box? Hitting your head on all the walls? Well, would you rather keep banging your head trying to find the way out, or would you rather get a light bulb? What if there's actually no way out? You'll be in the box forever! So, would you rather keep banging your head trying to find the way out, or would you rather enjoy seeing the beautiful cave-art painted on the insides of the walls?

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Hello all!

Thank you so much for the responses. I am starting to get a little bit comfortable with the diagnosis as well as with the fact that Rome was not built in a day and therefore this will be an extremely slow process requiring my diligence. I am trying to go easy on myself and not judge myself so harshly. That is one of the more difficult parts about this condition for me. Before I finally acknowledged that I really had this thing, I had adapted into quite the narcissist to make myself feel better. Having given that narcissistic "fluff" away in an effort to become a more humble and caring person has really made the bottom drop out at times and been overwhelming. When you've gone through most of your life convincing yourself that your sht don't stink (as we say in Texas) and then you willingly decide to accept the fact that it does and you are just like everyone else, it can be quite the journey in maturation. Add in the fact that I also had a nice little drug called alcohol that I have completely given up for the past 7 months... WHEW!

Anyway, I am glad to be where I am today. I am glad that my family knows what the deal is with me, that I finally realize that I'm not perfect, and I am very grateful to have the help that I need as I know many people suffering from mental conditions do not - I work with the homeless a lot and I see that many of them suffer from easily treated, but chronic mental health/neurological conditions that are holding them in poverty; it's an incredibly humbling experience that forces me to realize just how lucky I am, how lucky all of us are!

I am so appreciative to all of you who have offered your support by responding to my post of desperation! You all helped me to feel normal and not so crazy. You are great people who have forged the path ahead of me allowing me to pass through with more ease, and for that I am truly grateful to you. You let me know that this is not so bad. Who knows, maybe this is God's gift to me to let me know that I am human, that I am not perfect, and that it's ok to be that way. This was hard for me to realize when growing up in a house that demanded perfection - I'm sure there are PLENTY of ADHD sufferers on these boards that grew up in such an un-nuturing environment!

I hope everyone here has a magnificent holiday season and a wonderful new year and that we all stick to our resolutions as much as we can (using 25 different apps on our phones, sticky notes, loved ones and calendars to remind us, lol). You guys are truly the best!

Wayo

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