I didn't get a diagnosis until I was 36, was on treatment for 6 months when the stimulant medications stopped working when I fell into a very severe clinical depression. It is easy to go back and think about the "what if's", but nothing positive can come from it; you need to move forward and forgive your mom and yourself. I knew from the age of 16 that I had ADHD and this was in 1986, but because I was not hyperactive, I did not fit the known profile at the time. Then of course in the late 80's and early 90's the common thinking was that we outgrew ADHD as we matured into adulthood (which is not really the case for many of us).

Count your blessings that you were able to get a diagnosis at all. When I was trying to get one in my late teen's and early twenties, I was not successful because even though I knew I had it, most psychiatrists were not aware of the adult and inattentive components of the disorder.

It is easier to get stuck in scenarios of lost opportunities (if only I had been diagnosed and/or treated sooner then I would have not missed out on X, Y or Z or there would have been A, B or C opportunities) than to deal with your present circumstance. There are those out there who have had a much harder time with things than you have had. You are only making your life more difficult by holding on to anger. If you continue to have problems with anger, you need to get a good therapist who will help you learn to deal with your anger so you can move on to more productive ventures.

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Star - thank you for your post. I am in a similar situation (27, just starting graduate school, and beginning to understand ADHD in my life as I've only been diagnosed for a couple years).

It was encouraging to hear from someone who has gone down a similar path and seems has come out alright in life. It's difficult to try and train yourself as an adult, but I know you are right; it's important to remember there are always others who have had a more difficult time with it. Thankfully it seems that the issue of Adult ADHD (particularly in women who were not every hyperactive as children) is becoming more obvious to physicians and our culture at large. The unfortunate side of it is it took action, hard work, and struggling from people like you for us to get where we are today.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for your persistence in life, and for your insightful post.

Best wishes.

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I didn't get diagnosed until after my son at the age of 32, so I sooooo feel your pain. I am going through the same stage of frustration with this disease/disorder what ever the hell you call it. At times I just want to scream, because I can't remember things. I do take medication, which helps, but nothing seems to make this go away. I would assume as a woman with ADD, we have such flutuating hormoes that it can worsen with our cyles....Again add insult to injury.

I try to laugh a lot, but lately my patients for myself has been wearing thin so I am sure everyone else is over it too. About every 4-6months I just make dumb blunders at work, can't explain the carelessness it just seems to happen. And boy do I pay for it. I can't tell you how many mornings I have started out with a major ass chewing from my boss. As mad as he was at me, I am about 100 times more mad at myself for forgeting. Yes I have checks and balances, sticky notes, and every thing known to man to help me, I just sometimes forget. It makes me so upset to let people down and my self. So long story short, I am in the same boat.

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Tell me about it. I know all of these feelings! It's so tough to not just want to punch yourself in the face for messing everything up, especially when everyone is looking at you with that "look" on their face of "why can't he just get his sh@t together; he's so disorganized; what an idiot; he's just lazy/stupid/inconsiderate/selfish".

The good news is that there is help and hope. There are medications and therapies, both for the ADHD itself and for the emotional burden that comes with the repercussions of having such a condition.

Keep your head up! I am new at this game but I'm willing to try ANYTHING and work my buns off to get happy, healthy and comfortable! I'm even looking into career changes to see if other things might suit me better - even going so far as to give acting a try, which is something I said I'd never do!

I wish you all the best!

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You know we have been hearing stuff like:

"If you would only try harder" "If you could just focus" "C_ would be an "A" student if she only applied herself"

And we have been hearing this our whole lives. It started the negative loop we hear in our heads whenever we screw up. Trust me, I have given myself several mental arse whippings over the years for the stupid stuff I have done. Which makes even more important to be kind and forgiving to ourselves, because with this thing, not very many people are going to be understanding. When the meds stopped working during my depression, my ADD symptoms worsened considerably and my energy levels have never quite come back completely. It is hard, but I have learned that getting mad and frustrated only increases the stress that shuts my brain down. Some days it is all I can do to remember to breathe. The world is not going to end if I screw up and the earth will continue to revolve around the sun.

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