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Thread : Help, I feel like a junkie!! How do I break away from the piles!!!  
12 Sep 2011 @ 1:48 AM
nephyrwynn Join Date: Mon 12th Sep 2011
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Help, I feel like a junkie!! How do I break away from the piles!!!

I was diagnosed 2 years ago at the age of 23. I tried meds...not very helpful, read every Hallowell book, own every organizing guide I can think of. I spend my entire life cleaning then remaking piles...

Seriously...sometimes I just feel like hurting myself and I make myself so sick with self-hatred. I can't forgive myself. I constantly feel like ADHD is just a cop out for me being lazy.

So I clean for HOURS like an OCD...denying myself social time at times...I get my room nice, neat and livable and I love it...in one day ...it's back and I feel like a failure...I can't stick to anything beyond two weeks..ad trust me when I say I HATE IT!! I HATE HATE HATE PILES ?..,yet...I surround myself with the,..I have too much crap, Im impulsive... It doesn't help that I live with my aunt...so I'm restricted to my room and can't really rig the house in an ADHD friendly way with a launch pad by the door, etc...im tired of living like a pig, I'm not dirty...Im just so cluttered I feel disgusting.

I do feel like a junkie...it's like ...how hard is it to give things a home, or take the thing in my hand and put it away...saving myself hours of crying.

I just got so angry right now, that I took the semi-sorted and categorized piles on my bed and THREW them angrily in one big pile on the floor. I dream of clean..space...and not hating my room because of my piggy ways... Isn't being tired of it enough....when does the magic"get my act together and start consistently building the habit" gene kick on!!!?????

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21 Sep 2011 @ 2:26 PM Reply # 1
SunflowerSara Join Date: Sun 17th Oct 2010
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Some things to try...

I understand the frustration! I have the same problem and have learned to live with it. I am 31 and was diagnosed when I was 8, so I have a very different perspective, including that meds do work for me. Depending on your space limitations, one thing I would do is get a file box and an empty box. Every night when you come home, put everything that needs to be gone through in the empty box. When the box is full, set aside some time and go through it, file what needs to be filed, and trash/recycle/shred the rest. I know, "easier said than done", and I still sometimes have an overflowing box, but it does get easier with time.

Also, all of the suggestions that you have read that you say you can't do because you live with your aunt, I would talk with her and see if you can have a little space here and there just for you, such as a small container by the front door. I hope this helps!

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30 Sep 2011 @ 3:43 AM Reply # 2
dkl1205 Join Date: Fri 30th Sep 2011
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FLYlady.com

Try FLYlady.com. They have a free program to help people build basic cleaning routines into their lives one step at a time. I started one month ago after living in a complete mess (husband and I are both ADHD) and my house has been clean the whole month which is by far a record for both of us.

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