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Thread : Lost. Need advice from people who know.  
8 Aug 2011 @ 12:59 PM
alexasydney Join Date: Mon 8th Aug 2011
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Lost. Need advice from people who know.

Hi all - A quick background and then a question. Please read because I feel LOST.

I have been with my 6 yr old child's dad for 7 yrs. He has a daughter (11 yr old) from a previous relationship. She has always lived with my guy's mom her grandma and her great grandparents. He would live there on and off as well and have her on weekends. Her mom is pretty much out of the picture (meth addict living 2500 miles away). Syd has always been in a private school in Memphis TN. Known the same kids her whole life. I moved to Boston MA 15 months ago. Her dad came up in April. Syd came in July to visit and asked if she could stay. We said of course.

Here is where it gets interesting. Syd has been diag. with ADHD as of 2 yrs ago. I don't know all the details of why they had her tested except she was defiant, didn't / couldn't focus in school, went from A's and B's to C's, D's and F's. She would melt down when told to do homework and her great grandparents couldn't deal with the constant yelling/crying...so she was evaluated, diagnoised and treated with medications. She has been on the patch and to date, 4 different meds. The most recent being 30mg or 40mg (sorry forgot which) Ritalin. They would put her on it only during school hours and never on weekends. When she arrived here, she was on a pill. The next day she didn't take it...and I didn't make her. It's now been almost 3 weeks and I haven't made her take it. I am having her take Fish Oil and Vitamin B.

Her behavior: Horrible mood early mornings, grumpy, bossy, foul. Afternoons: Better, emotional (regarding nothing ever being "fair" or if she's told to do something.) Evenings: Usually good UNLESS it's time to do some homework (preparing her for school this year). She hates school work.

I will give you guys and example and you tell me if you think she is really ADHD or if she's just a kid who wants to do what she wants. Thursday night I gave her 12 multiplication problems she complained that her cousins work was easier. I let her get through 1/2 and gave her easier work and told her to do 6 problems. It took over 90 mins of her sitting here just dramatic about having to do it. Saying she can't do multiplication, it's too hard, she doesn't get it...on and on. Her dad walked in and said Syd, you have exactly 10 mins to get those next 6 done or you will be punished. Guess what? The 6 she did for me, 5 wrong in 90 mins. The 6 she did for him, 5 right in 9 mins. What the heck?? So her dad says "You are trying to play Tracy like you did Mama and that's not going to work." She just smirked and said she understood.

Example: She offers to do the dishes. Her sister eats off more than one plate, she goes on a rant about people using too many dishes. She does this for 30 mins straight. Just random things that aren't THAT big of a deal...she will go on and on about for no reason.

Things that send her off the deep end: 1) any type of school work. 2) discipline (she will be VERY dramatic, like someone just killed her if she is spoken to for any reason regarding something she did wrong). 3) her sister being loud, not doing what she wants her to do, playing w/ other kids...I think this is all sibling rivalry.)

Overall she seems to follow my directions if I am clear with her. She is talented and can draw and make clay model for HOURS but will avoid school work like the plague. She can sit for hours and is fine...no moving constantly. She doesn't have huge outburts or melt downs, she will get dramatic and whine then be fine.

Should I get her re-evaluated?

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Last edited by alexasydney : 8 Aug 2011 @ 1:01 PM. Reason:
17 Aug 2011 @ 7:36 PM Reply # 1
teamwork Join Date: Wed 17th Aug 2011
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find a new doctor

It sounds like you are frustrated and confused about your step-daughter's condition. Is there a reason you haven't given her the medication that the doctor prescribed? Are you against the medication or you don't believe that she has ADHD? It sounds like she does have the symptoms, but you should consult a neurologist or pediatrician regarding her ADHD if you don't trust her doctor now.

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1 Sep 2011 @ 8:44 PM Reply # 2
tiffany Join Date: Thu 1st Sep 2011
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come talk please

i have a 17 year old that just moved here that acts 7 has anger and adhd i have token him to docter;s cousuling im trying every thing to try to help him out but im just like you needing some help on understanding all of it.. he's been here 2 mo. now and he has tryed herting him self talked about herting others grrrr come talk will tell more .. thank you

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1 Sep 2011 @ 8:54 PM Reply # 3
tiffany Join Date: Thu 1st Sep 2011
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give her the med's and be stern with her when you ask her to do

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teamwork said: It sounds like you are frustrated and confused about your step-daughter's condition. Is there a reason you haven't given her the medication that the doctor prescribed? Are you against the medication or you don't believe that she has ADHD? It sounds like she does have the symptoms, but you should consult a neurologist or pediatrician regarding her ADHD if you don't trust her doctor now.

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1 Sep 2011 @ 8:54 PM Reply # 4
tiffany Join Date: Thu 1st Sep 2011
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give her the med's and be stern with her when you ask her to do

Quote:

teamwork said: It sounds like you are frustrated and confused about your step-daughter's condition. Is there a reason you haven't given her the medication that the doctor prescribed? Are you against the medication or you don't believe that she has ADHD? It sounds like she does have the symptoms, but you should consult a neurologist or pediatrician regarding her ADHD if you don't trust her doctor now.

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