I apologize if this has been discussed before (I'm sure it has somewhere)...I elected to post this in the ADHD 101 thread instead of the Meds thread because our daughter isn't medicated at this time. I also apologize that my first post is a novel. Since I'm new here, I thought I'd better give a history on my daughter.

So. Here's my story: my daughter (turning 7 today!) is entering 2nd grade. She was diagnosed back in March with ADHD, ODD and it seems a smattering of OCD/Anxiety disorder as well. She also has some sensory issues (shoes and socks are a nightmare unless it's flipflops or sandals). She has not been medicated so far. She's taken the Omega 3 gummies but they haven't really shown any difference in her ability to focus.

My daughter seems a little different than the typical story with an ADHD kid. She slept through the night at 9 weeks old. She was happy, smart, just the perfect stress-free baby. Her symptoms started showing up the summer she turned 3. (We had her sister when she was 2-1/2, so at the point where #1's behavioral issues started creeping up, #2 was about 9 months old.) We really just thought she was an incredibly strong willed child. I was very SW as a child and definitely put my parents through the wringer with my antics, so we just chalked her attitude up to that. She had trouble sitting for circle time at nursery school, but we thought that was due to her personality and age. We aren't horrid disciplinarians, but we don't let our kids run roughshod either. Enter, kindergarten.

The first few months of K were great, until we started getting the weekly phonecall from the teacher. #1 glued herself into her chair. She painted a mural on the table while the teacher was getting coats on the kids. She was taking the names off the felt board because she liked the replacement signs the teacher made so much better (they were prettier). Just think Ramona, and that is my girl. :) So basically just silly impulsive stuff, along with the attitude. The teacher suggested a Conner's scale, which we did. She scored very high for ADHD. Our pediatrician referred us to a doctor whose specialty is pediatric behavior and deveopment diagnostics. It took a solid year to get in to see him. That would be where we got her diagnosis last March. So, first grade started. She lost some of the more silly impulsive behaviors, but gained a very (VERY!) sullen attitude. She hated school. Every morning was a struggle to get her there. She would sit at her desk, often all day, looking at her seat work (usually 1-3 worksheets per day) and would not complete more than the first 1 or 2 problems. She's a smart girl. She knows the material and tests above her grade level for reading. I don't think the problem is that she's a genius, though she is very bright. She would not do the work at home either. If I read her math problems orally, she can answer them. But to write anything on paper sends her into a tailspin. She will erase the same number and rewrite it so many times that she wears a hole in the paper. And the meltdowns/tantrums! Oy! Constant meltdowns. Almost every single day. Usually in the evening, though sometimes while getting ready in the morning.

She has described some things to us that led us to the OCD conclusion - she said she gets upset when the invisible string around her waist (and trails off behind her) is not completely in a straight line. Any time she is frustrated, it seems the "string" is not straight like it's supposed to be. This post is already so long that I hesitate to go into any more detail to convey the chaos that my house is in these days (and I havn't even gotten into the relationship she has with her sister). Basically, it boils down to this: we can't leave her alone for 5 minutes. She has been doing some things lately that have us fearing for her safety (or her sister's). She was in her room yesterday with the door closed (supposedly cleaning up her pokemon cards that she had thrown around the room in a fit). My husband walked in to check on her and she was STANDING ON HER WINDOWSILL. The window was closed and she was facing in, but jeez! Now we are really concerned about her. (She had only been in there a couple of minutes when she did this) We had said we were going to try not to medicate her, mostly because of our own fears of side effects and what it would do to her personality (she has such a great lovey/zany/quirky personality and we don't want to lose that). But now we're wondering if she would be happier if we did. For the last year, she has been soooo angry. All the time. Moody and nasty. And that's not who she is. I think she knows something isn't right with her and it's coming out in this nastiness. When she gets upset, she hurls out such horrible phrases ("I wish I was never born!" "I wish I didn't even live here!" etc. Then of course the usual "I hate you!" and "You're stupid!"). She always claims she never said it once she calms down from her tantrum, and we're trying really hard to not let it get to us because we know that it's not her. But we just don't really know what to do. We've seen the pediatrician, the behaviorist, the clinical psychologist. They've told us the diagnosis, offered to mediate and gave us some pamphlets and suggestions for books to read. And then we're adrift wondering what to do next. We've met with the principal and will be meeting with her teacher this month to get on the same page so we don't start with the weekly phonecalls from her teacher again. Luckily she has an awesome school and the principal and teachers are just great there...they're willing to do whatever they need to do to help her succeed.

But with this episode with the windowsill and some other crazy things she's done lately, we're wondering if meds would help to curtail some of that impulsive behavior where she isn't in control of herself. It seems like the older she gets, she's ratcheting up the impulsivity. That, combined with her negative attitude, worries us all the more.

I'd really appreciate any opinions or stories that anyone could share to help us figure out our next step. Thanks for reading!

Karen

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