Hi,

I am really struggling to know what to do at the moment and am feeling very upset and down as a result.

I have been with my partner for over 5 years, we got engaged at the beginning of this year. We have had a turbulent relationship in that time, we live together and often fight about chores amongst other things. Our physical relationship was at first very intense but the last couple of years it has been very sporadic. However our home life did feel like it was improving, we argued less and adjusted to living with one another and being more accepting. I love him and could picture a future together.

He recently changed jobs and things have started to go down hill. He was much more stressed, had a shorter fuse and wasn't happy in his new position. He went off on a boys holiday and then came back a different person. He is now unsure of what he wants in life, from me and commiting to me (we were looking at buying a house and had spoke about having children), to where he wants to live and what job he wants to do. This is so out of character as he was previously very driven by work.

He says he needs time to work out his feelings.

I for the first time began to research ADHD, as it had not been a problem in our relationship up until now, or so I thought. Reading about it online I realised how much it has affected things.

He is not on any meds at present but is waiting on a doctors appointment to be assessed.

I am now scared. Scared of him saying it is over and scared of whether it is the right thing for me to end it regardless. I am concerned about the statistics of ADHD and the breakdown of marriages, the greater likelihood of having children with the condition and the constant stress that comes with living with someone with it. His Dad has ADD and when my partner was young his mother had a breakdown, his Mum and Dad do not appear to have a happy marriage. I am also thinking that if he can do this once, he may do it again and then we could have children.

Any advice would be really appreciated x

Quote