Hi,

First of all, kudos for being such a compassionate mother who is so focused on how your child feels. You did not let your son down. This is " feedback, not failure" (NLP motto). As you and your son learn more about his abilities and challenging areas, you'll know how to circumvent t these issues more successfully.

I received a call from my son's (mainstream) school several months ago to pick him up early after he poked a child in the face with a pencil, and broke skin. I was horrified and mortified, and could not imagine how to effectively deal with him or the situation. I called his therapist, who advised me to go in seeking information from both him and the teachers as to what happened. Having the task of getting information took my focus off of my feelings of anger at him or the school, and redirected it towards a more productive place. Approaching it from an intellectual perspective allowed me to acquire the information I needed to help him/get him help. She pointed out that the staff would most likely give him a hard time about it, and that he needed someone to support him. I came in very kind and empathetic, and later received criticism from his teacher and SEIT who found me to be too gentle with him. (I have to point out, that in no way did I show any approval for his behavior; I discussed the fact that harming another, for any reason, is not acceptable. However, I saved this discussion for later, after I had time to get information, and to calm down and give him support for his challenges). The challenge for kids with ADHD, is that their hands are often moving faster than their brains, which doesn't allow them time to think through their actions to the consequences. Mainstream schools and camps lack to support staff needed to intervene and redirect them. It's up to us to help train them, either with behavior management training, counseling, medication, and sometimes shadows and SEITs, Is your son taking any medication? You need to get information as to what the behaviors were that were so unacceptable. Was he aggressive with the other children? Uncooperative with tasks and activities (team activities may be too difficult at this time for him, until he learns how to follow rules). It sounds to me like he might be happier in a camp for children with ADHD. There are a lot of them in the United States, and they are very knowledgeable and understanding of the issues these kids face. They teach them to listen better, follow rules, respect peers, etc. They teach the foundation of the skills the kids need to move on later to mainstream camps. I would treat this like a simple mismatch, not a failure. Think of it like wearing a tuxedo to a baseball game. In this case, the "tuxedo" may be inappropriate, but he's "wearing" his challenges fully. See if you can find a different camp for him that suits his needs. An "opera". Let him sing his song. Eventually, he'll see the fun in the baseball game mode, and he'll be ready for that as well.

Quote

My son was diagnosed with ADHD just a month ago- he's 5 but we've known since he was a toddler. he just started a different camp. -- this is a camp that he use to go to 1 year ago and loved-- he loved one of the teachers so we thought this transition would be fine until he starts school in just a few weeks. It's not and every sngle day he's crying uncontrollably -- I can't take it anymore and they can't either-- they're calling me and ready to ask me to pick him up should this persist any longer,, after his nap he's like this angel but in the morning he's absoluely horrible and I'm at my wits end. He turns it on as soon as he steps in the door. He likes his teachers but is adamant on going back to the other school -- I can't imagine what's going to happen when he starts elementary in a few weeks-- I just can't imagine having to quit work --- I'm so angry I can't see straight we have an appointment with his pediatric devlopmental Dr who's going to charge us 300.00 to see him to tell us that his meds are working-- DUH ! I know that! --Lately I find myself on these forums everyday. I feel like he needs behavior modification but WOW he's had this as well --I'm just not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.- I most likely have ADD myself so dealing with him just feels exaberbating at times.

Quote:

frazzled mom said: Hi,

First of all, kudos for being such a compassionate mother who is so focused on how your child feels. You did not let your son down. This is " feedback, not failure" (NLP motto). As you and your son learn more about his abilities and challenging areas, you'll know how to circumvent t these issues more successfully.

I received a call from my son's (mainstream) school several months ago to pick him up early after he poked a child in the face with a pencil, and broke skin. I was horrified and mortified, and could not imagine how to effectively deal with him or the situation. I called his therapist, who advised me to go in seeking information from both him and the teachers as to what happened. Having the task of getting information took my focus off of my feelings of anger at him or the school, and redirected it towards a more productive place. Approaching it from an intellectual perspective allowed me to acquire the information I needed to help him/get him help. She pointed out that the staff would most likely give him a hard time about it, and that he needed someone to support him. I came in very kind and empathetic, and later received criticism from his teacher and SEIT who found me to be too gentle with him. (I have to point out, that in no way did I show any approval for his behavior; I discussed the fact that harming another, for any reason, is not acceptable. However, I saved this discussion for later, after I had time to get information, and to calm down and give him support for his challenges). The challenge for kids with ADHD, is that their hands are often moving faster than their brains, which doesn't allow them time to think through their actions to the consequences. Mainstream schools and camps lack to support staff needed to intervene and redirect them. It's up to us to help train them, either with behavior management training, counseling, medication, and sometimes shadows and SEITs, Is your son taking any medication? You need to get information as to what the behaviors were that were so unacceptable. Was he aggressive with the other children? Uncooperative with tasks and activities (team activities may be too difficult at this time for him, until he learns how to follow rules). It sounds to me like he might be happier in a camp for children with ADHD. There are a lot of them in the United States, and they are very knowledgeable and understanding of the issues these kids face. They teach them to listen better, follow rules, respect peers, etc. They teach the foundation of the skills the kids need to move on later to mainstream camps. I would treat this like a simple mismatch, not a failure. Think of it like wearing a tuxedo to a baseball game. In this case, the "tuxedo" may be inappropriate, but he's "wearing" his challenges fully. See if you can find a different camp for him that suits his needs. An "opera". Let him sing his song. Eventually, he'll see the fun in the baseball game mode, and he'll be ready for that as well.

Quote