My 12 y/o son has also been stealing. He took my debit card from my wallet and opened an account for online games. I thought my card was stolen and contacted my bank. When I discovered it was my son who made the unathorized charges I cancelled the investigation at my bank as my son used my email address and info. I ate the 180.00 in charges I have been missing money from my wallet and have caught my son taking items from stores. We have both become socially isolated as a result of my sons adhd and depression. My son's therapist claims that he is acting out as he is unhappy at home. 2 weeks ago my son stole $40.00 off his therapists desk! At his next therapy appointment ( He has been seeing this therapist once a week for 2 years) his therapist told my son and I that he does not think his therapy is working with my son and terminated his therapy!!!!! Iam also a single parent who works very hard to provide for my son. I cannot offer any advice at this time but could also use some sound advice in this area.

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My son stole from my wallet once. I realized it when I was out in the car alone. He was at home. That gave me time to calm down and formulate what I would do. When I got home, I confronted him. He denied it, so I searched his pockets and found the $20 bill. He was 12 at the time and had no way of earning $20. My response was to take away his most cherished possessions (at the time, they were figurines) and make him "earn" them back. I also explained that he'd lost my trust, and therefore I couldn't believe him when he told me things. I explained that he had a lot of freedom when I trusted him, but now he'd require oversight. It worked, to my knowledge.

Stealing isn't a result of not having enough. Be firm, explain the consequences, and stick to it. If you find he's stolen from retailers, make him take the item(s) back and apologize in person. Same thing with friends/neighbors. Make him write apologies, too.

Other than that, I don't have further suggestions. Do your kids attend religious services at all? Make them volunteer to help those who really don't have things, so they see the "other side." My son attended 2 mission trips with our church and that also helped him realize the ways of the world.

Best wishes.

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Wow! This sounds like my son! My son stole $200 from my husband's wallet and has stolen (costume) jewelry from my mother in law. He also hoards. He looks for trinkets on the ground outside, various nicknacks indoors, and stuffs them into his pockets, in his bookshelf, etc. He acts like a poverty stricken person who has to hoard to make sure he has enough for tomorrow. He is not lacking. I'm not sure if it's based on some kind of fear. "Lynne", your son's therapist did you a favor. You're going to him for help with your son's inappropriate behavior, and he let's you go because of it. Find someone more knowledgeable and resilient. Lucky you didn't waste any further time with him. Your son's therapist should have discussed with you behaviors that he would not tolerate which would end the therapeutic relationship. Presumably, he mentioned destruction of property and stealing. If he did not, he should have offered fair warning to your son before terminating. If he did warn, then why on earth would he leave $40 in any location your son could reach to steal?? He put your son in a situation where his impulsivity would rule and then faulted him for it. I am still struggling with my son, with the stealing part, and so, I have no answers for it. Taking away privaledges only seems to work in the short run. The one thing we do is offer him the "power" of ownership. Meaning, we give him the option of earning his desired privaledges with points for good behavior: a doughnut for 20 points, a new computer game for 50, etc. We also take away desired things for stealing. He once ordered several hundreds of dollars worth of computer games on our ipad. He lost several games he previously earned and lost the privaledge of ordering free or cheap games ($1.99) on his own (we now have a code, so he can't access it on his own). So, although we remedied some of the problems, we have in no way resolved the overall stealing and hoarding, though. So any further thoughts would still be appreciated.

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I am raising my 7 yr old grandson who has ADHD and other disorders. He steals, lies throws temper tantrums, throws hisself when he's mad, hurts others and animals, hits hisself in the face. He has been tried on several medications and has been on Clonidine since her was 2. I just don't know what else to do with him. My husband and I fight over him all the time any more. I cry and like one said sometimes I'm ready to snap

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