Hello all, I wish I would have found this forum a few months ago and I probably wouldn't be where I am now. Anyway here it goes...

I recently was in a relationship with a young lady that I fell hard for. She has a full time job as as store manager, has a 13 year son (we're both 29), and is in make-up school. During our relationship I would often feel frustrated and confused about the girl I was dating. I was confused because we would also hang out alot but we never really shared deep conversations when I tried initiate them making me feel confused if she was really into me or not. She told me that she's a person of actions rather than verbally expressing herself. Sometimes she would be into me feeling all lovey and dovey and then in a few days she would be distant.

She was also: -dislikes staying at home the entire day, she always on the go -notorious for always being late, -wouldn't return my texts or calls until many hours later which would make me annoyed and she would act as if nothing happened. -would sometimes get a temper and get mad at me if I wasn't available when the phone rang or find something to get mad at me through the text I would send. It would be quick outburst on the phone then we would get off. -Sometimes she didnt feel like going anywhere after we made a date. Sometimes when were supposed to go out I would go to pick her up she still would be in her robe and we would just end up watching TV. -She's gets tired fairly easy, -her bed is a constant mess with her make-up and other things, piles of mail around the house, -forget things from time to time

But through all of this I really like her and she's a sweet girl that has my heart.

I would also remember her telling me things such as she thinks she's inferior and that she thinks she's crazy sometime because sometimes she's really happy then the next she feels sad and is ready to snap on somebody. Throughout our relationship I would sometime hear her say that she just has too much to deal with at times and dont know what to do especially with her son since he's always getting at trouble at school. His father doesn't exist in his life and he's in Philly as we're Atlanta.

About 2 months or so ago her son was diagnosed with ADHD which made me do some research on it and I came across some symptoms of ADD that I feel she had and found another ADD forum where people shared their relationship problems. To my ignorance I was a little nervous about what I read on the forums because it described my situation to a "T" but I ignored the forum (stupid I know) and havent been back on since and forgot about it due to the fact I was just nervous about being someone that had ADD or ADHD.

Also the last month or two in our 7 month relationship I noticed our relationship was starting to slow down. We didn't go out as much and I took deep reflection of our relationship and figured it was time to bring more excitement to our relationship just thinking that we getting out of the "honeymoon phase" of our relationship. Something inside told me to get back on the ADD related forum and I did. When I did it was like someone turned the light on because I totally related to what other people went through when dating someone who is ADD/ADHD. As I continued reading I was thinking of ways to make our relationship exciting again when out of the blue this past Friday around 1:30am I got a text from her saying "Babe I really care about you but I cant do a relationship right now. I hope you understand."

I immediately called her and asked here for an explanation. She basically told me that she feels she has too much going on in her life and she's not into the relationship anymore. She also said that she feels she doesnt have the time to put into the relationship like she wants to and feels bad about it. She also said she has very deep feelings for me but feels that the timing is off.

My response was that when two people are in a relationship there's always going to be something going on and if there's something that puts a strain on the relationship where time is an issue I see it as a challenge to make the relationship stronger. You shouldn't see the relationship as a scape goat but as a support system and someone to lean on to help get through all of the things going on in your life. I told her I knew what I was signing up for when we first started dating. I knew time would be an issue from time to time but I was willingly to fight through it because I feel that she's the special to me.

After all what I have been reading since our break up I really feel that ADD/ADHD definitely played apart in it. My thinking about it is that she feels overwhelmed with everything in her life, her job, her son is who always getting in trouble at school, school and doesn't know what to do about it. I deeply care about her and would consider being in a relationship with her again.

I don't know when would be a good time to at least discuss the possibility what she has been going through could be attributed to ADD/ADHD since she broke up with me about 1 1/2 day ago. I just want her to know that if she's open to learn about it and willing to work on it if she has some form of it I'll be there for her as a friend and as a lover if she's still willing.

What should I do??

P.s. I've also been reading that people who have ADD/ADHD are known for constantly breaking up and then getting back together with their partner. Some experience on this would also be helpful.

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