I was the same way as a child. I passed my classes, was even in some honors and gifted programs in school, but only because I got good enough grades on what I did turn in that it compensated for all the points deducted for turning things in late. The only class I failed was one that would not let me turn anything in late. I would forget my head if wouldn't have been attached to my body. I was not diagnosed as a child because I was not disruptive, and back then only the disruptive children (usually boys) were noticed for having ADHD. The good news is I grew into a fully functioning adult. I still forget things constantly though (even on meds), and I have learned that making things habit has helped alot, and its easier to develop habits when you are younger. I always make sure to put my keys and cell phone in the same place every day at home, and I use the alarm/calander in my phone to remind myself of appointments and bills that are due. I still forget and misplace things, but getting myself into these habits has helped alot. Hope this helped some.

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I forget to say that alot of times the memory issues (I know at least for me) are because my mind is constantly going and I tend to jump subjects and ideas in my head rather quickly. So while I may be thinking one moment that I really need to do one thing, on my way to do that I start thinking of something else I need to do, or something else catches my attention and I completely forget the first thing I was supposed to do. And then when I finally am doing something that needs to get done I tend to hyperfocus on it forgetting everything else I was supposed to do. This is ADHD.

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That helps a lot. I worry so much about her and how she will function as she get older and more independent. And, of course me, constantly screaming at her because sometimes I just cannot comprehend how someone could do or not do some of the thing she does. I worry about her self-esteem. Thanks again.

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I have a 19 year old son with profound memory deficits and inattentive ADD. His psychologist has said that when you know that you have a memory issue, it just means that you HAVE TO create a system to help you remember things. This can be a planner, a calendar, a to do list, a phone with calendar & reminders, it doesn't matter so much what the system is, just have a system. Memory issues and ADD/ADHD often occur together, I've been told. I used to nag at my son to use his school planner, but he would rarely use it. When we got a phone for him with calendar and reminders, he was motivated to use it, because he wanted the phone so badly (iPhone). The deal we had with him was that he could keep the phone as long as he was using the phone regularly to set up reminders and schedule himself. It hasn't been perfect, but it has helped quite a bit. I have backed off on nagging him also, since I noticed that it really only raised his anxiety, which made his memory even worse. It is difficult to watch your child forget everything though, and hard for others to understand how much of a problem it can be.

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I bought her the droid with the calendar, after many failed attempts of things like small pocket calendars. She just does not want to help herself yet. Its one battle after the other these days. She is still in denial about even having ADHD. We have a long haul ahead of ourselves. I would like to get her into one on one counseling, so she has someone to talk to. She is totally against that also, but I am going to make her go anyway. She needs someone to talk to and someone other than myself to tell her whats good for her. Thank you for your advise, its just nice to know your not alone with all this.

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WhenI just read your post I felt relieved to know that it is not just my daughter. We have the exact same problems. We feel desparate for help. We even just finished taking "Parenting the ADD child" classes from CHADD. We did get some helpful hints. THough our daughter is similar to yours. She is not in the frame of mind yet that she wants to help herself. The helpful ideas we have told her about wear off like a novelty. But here are a couple that started to work. 1. We give her a protein shake for breakfast. (chocolate Ensure, slimfast drinks, etc. she picks the flavor) because she mostly skips out on lunches too, and she is not hungry in the mroning! So having a good breakfast w/ protein helps. 2. We buy her protein bars for lunch eg, cliff bars, kelloggs has a 9 gr protein bars . (she doesn't always eat them but atleast I know it is in her backpack incase,she eats them probably 70% of time ) 3. We have her set up her alarm on phone to go off to remind her to turn things in. 4. We have just started having her email a scanned copy of her homework to teachers she consistently forget to turn in homework too. ( We have a 504 plan) We feel the same as you. It is more of a memory loss than anything and we have had horrible fights becasue of it. It is hard to understand and feel your frustration.

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That is some excellent suggestions. We haven't yet gotten involved with Chadd, but I was also thinking of the parenting classes. What does the protein do to help? I haven't heard of that. Like you said it is comforting to know that I'm not the only one. I walk around feeling so guilty because after the fights I realize that its not really her fault, she just Cant. For the most part. Did Chadd offer any information as to what becomes of these memory issues as the child gets older? Any other information would be useful. Thanks again.

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Regular ingestion of protein - and hopefully no high-glycemic foods, meaning sweets! - regulates blood sugar levels, with the protein compensating for all the simple carbs (read blood sugar spikes and dives) and filling in after the complex carbs wane. Blood sugar levels affect concentration, degree of alertness vs. sleepiness, focus, learning, memory, and mood regulation(!). Even people without ADHD experience these effects, and for those of us with ADHD, these blood sugar swings can be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, inducing a nasty case of grumpiness, resistance, or even aggression, as well as sleepiness, inability to focus (on homework, for instance), inability to learn (the brain must be alert to encode new information), and increased memory problems. The goal is to keep protein in the system at all times. (Note I said protein, not necessarily meat.) For an adult, my nutritionist recommended 24 g of protein within an hour of arising, 7 g protein snack within 3-4 hours, 21 g protein at lunch, another 7 g protein snack within 3-4 hours, and 12 g. protein at supper. If suppers are later than 3-4 hours after the afternoon snack, add another 7 g protein snack within 3-4 hours. Protein also prevents hunger, so less distraction and fewer overall calories due to less jonesing after doughnuts, ice cream, candy, sodas, etc. For the snacks, I find Zing bars ideal - they taste like wonderful candy bars thanks to agave but are low-glycemic, high protein (9 g), gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free, and two of the flavors (chocolate coconut and cashew berry) are peanut-free as well. For breakfast, I alternate between having eggs (a medium egg has about 7g protein) or making a fruit smoothie with a heaping scoop of Genuine Health's "Vegan Proteins" (a yummy powder I get at Super Supplements. As a bonus, it includes all the amino acids).

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In addition to a lack of protein or ingestion of sugars, the following are common culprits of inadequate mental function. For people with ADHD brains, these additional issues are even more important to identify and manage:

Food Allergies. Surprisingly often. For me, it turns out eating even a crumb of gluten (any derivative of barley, oats, rye, spelt, or wheat) elicits an allergic response of profound stupidity. The confusion and impaired memory last 9 days. For some folks, it turns out to be orange juice. Or dairy products. Or corn. Or soy. Or something else. Has your child been tested?

Stress. Academic, Interpersonal, & Inner. Being yelled at is very stressful. Feeling panicked about being unable to meet the constant expectations of others is stressful. Having 7 thoughts concurrently demanding your mental attention all day is stressful. Being bullied is stressful. Fearing you're stupid and it will never improve is stressful. Is there anything you can do to help reduce stress? Reassure, calm, hug, stroke, listen to them. Communicate calmly and express love and respect daily. Show them you have confidence they will do fine in life. Help them lovingly with homework. Laugh with them, keep a sense of humor - that's a tool which they can learn to use to cope. Is their school ideal for them? And are they being protected from bullying?

Depression. Constantly stressing other people, interrupting and annoying them all day, spontaneously offending people several times a day because you have no brakes on your speech, losing friend after friend, being taunted, having low academic achievement, comparing yourself to others, fearing you can never go to college, wondering how on earth you will ever manage to function as an independent adult, how you could hold a job, show up regularly, stay respected, not offend a boss, leads to being depressed and down on yourself. Depressed brains have inadequate blood flow to the thinking areas. Lack of hope leaves one spiritually bereft. And may lead to suicide. If someone is depressed more than 2 weeks, doctors advise seeking medical treatment because the brain has by then established a new set-point. (It will stay depressed, possibly for years.) The best outcomes in treating depression come when talk therapy is used along with medication to kick-start the brain back into gear. (A short course of medication is all that is usually needed, but ongoing talk therapy with someone they like and trust may prove very helpful, given all they are coping with.)

Poor Sleep. Again. Nobody thinks well after even one night's poor sleep, and many of us have trouble sleeping. Week after week, month after month of poor sleeping has nasty cumulative effects on one's ability to think or remember, as well as how well one feels physically. I am not a medical professional. That said, as a teacher I'd suggest you might consider trying 300-500 mg. Pantothenic Acid (vit. B5) an hour before bed, or the natural brain sleep chemical melatonin (maybe 1.5 mg for a child). If you want something more subtle, you might try the Bach Flower Essence "Sleep Combination", or the Bach Flower Essence "White Chestnut," which stops repetitive brain chatter. I'm assuming you already tried warm milk or turkey (which raise tryptophan, inducing sleepiness).

Just a few other possibilities: Poor nutrition (lack of vegetables, for example), Constipation (again, poor diet, or lack of exercise), Previous Head Trauma, Lead poisoning, Other toxins permeating our food, air, and soil.

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