I’m 23 years old (24 in June), and I guess I’ve always kind of felt like I suffer from ADHD but I’m at a point in my life now where I feel I can no longer avoid the problem. Posting here is my first step in trying to get help, so I’ll start by giving a brief rundown of my past and present situation.

In school, I was always the kid that goofed around in class, spent little to no time on school-work at home, but still managed to get my work done and graduate with honors. The majority of my teachers appreciated my sense of humor and were fond of me despite my inability to stay focused, but there were also those who disliked me for being disruptive. The latter would often kick me out of class (I was an expert hall-wanderer in high school ) and occasionally call my mom to complain, but she’d simply ask how my grades were and then blow it off after hearing I was doing well.

It wasn’t until my junior year of high school when I started taking courses for college credit that I first began to feel the effects of my lack of focus. For the first time I felt like I’d fall behind if I didn’t pay attention in class, but despite my efforts I’d still ultimately find myself studying the posters on the wall or thinking about what I was going to do after school. I was able to maintain my grades by cramming before exams, but expressed my concerns to my mom anyway and got little support. At one point I mentioned it to my pediatrician and got some forms for my teachers to fill out, but I never got around to turning them back in.

After high school I went to a university with a demanding curriculum and realized that even advanced placement high school courses weren’t too bad. Despite my efforts, I fell back into the routine of not paying attention in class and cramming before exams. I majored in finance and philosophy (weird combo, I know, but I wanted a career in finance and am just plain interested in philosophy) and enrolled in quite a few courses on topics that fascinate me, but even with genuine interest I still invariably wound up distracted and lost during class. I became an expert at cramming and have always tested well so I still managed to maintain good grades, but I’ll always regret not getting treated during my college career. At the start of each school-year I’d promise myself that I’d talk to a doctor, but for whatever reason – be it adderall’s stigma of widespread abuse, a lack of urgency since my grades held up, or just not wanting to admit that I needed help – I ultimately never got around to it and felt more and more uncomfortable addressing the situation with each passing year. I can’t say that I learned nothing in college, but I do feel that in a large way I wasted an amazing opportunity to learn – last minute cramming just doesn’t do it.

Well now that I’ve graduated and am getting started in my first career, I’m faced by the reality that life isn’t full of checkpoints that I can just cram for. I know that in order to be successful I have to be able to focus each day, but at this point I feel like I’ve put off getting help for so long that I don’t know where to begin. How do I approach this? I haven’t seen a doctor regularly since I outgrew my pediatrician, so I don’t have a general practitioner. I could call a local doctor’s office that is covered by my insurance and say that I’d like to talk to a GP about possible ADHD treatment, but I’ve always had a fear that the doctor will just assume I’m another abuser trying to get a prescription. Should a schedule a routine physical first to gauge how comfortable I am with the GP? Or would I be better off setting up an appointment with a psychiatrist instead? (I know there are good ones out there, but as a kid I talked to a couple of psychiatrists/psychologists who put a bad taste in my mouth.)

I apologize for what I’m sure is an unnecessarily long and rambling post, but this is something that’s been on my mind for many years and I just don’t know where to begin. Any feedback or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Quote