Hi there! I'm new to the forum but not new to ADD/ADHD. I'm 32 and was diagnosed when I was around 12ish. Typical story, in and out of trouble, didn't finish college, pretty good at holding a job (I do what I like so that helps), in and out of many romantic relationships and this is where my true ADD kicks in. Not so much with paying attention, she gets plenty of that! More so managing my impulsivity and obsessive thinking/worrying. Fooooor example...

I had a horrible day on Tuesday!! I was looking for someone to talk to and of course I went to my girlfriend, she was really cool about it at first, we txt a few times, she asked if everything was ok in the early afternoon, however I never had an opportunity to really discuss it. So I decided to call her after she got off work, well I was unable to talk with her then because she was heading out to eat with her friend. I was pissed! So I blast txt her while she was out, saying selfish things, such as she never has the time to talk with me and just being really immature. I finally got so pissed that I drove over there, interrupted her dinner and expressed how I felt. Ooops! At the time I felt it needed to be done, almost as if my brain completely shuts off and I go on auto pilot and I don't kick into "manual" again until the "event" is over. This is followed by many days of depression and worries.Now my girlfriend is pissed at me and I'm pissed at me for my actions and its just one big downward spiral.

This type of thing has happened on several occasions. She's completely fed up and tells me she can't be with me if I'm going to be "untreated". Now here comes the interesting part. Being diagnosed at such a young age, I've had my fair dosage of meds - Retalin, Wellbutrin, generic Adderall and my latest adventure Straterra. I've had complications all them! Aggression with some and depression with others. At first Straterra was great! However shortly afterwards depression kind of kicked in and I got off. Now a month later after the "event" I decided to give it another go around (kind of like my gf with our relationship, I call it the Ol' College Try!). My experiences with medications has caused me to have a false believe in them and rarely do I want to be on them, however any thing to save my relationship is worth a try!!

Going back to my impusivity and obsessive thinking - can someone offer some advice as to how to control my actions. I've struggled with this all my life, I see how it affects my loved ones and I'm fed up with being this person, i want to change and I want to be "normal", but what is that??

Thanks for reading, i hope the above made since and any advice given would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers,

W

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