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Neat freak?
Hi Elizabeth, I know that your post is a little old, but I just joined this forum today and wanted to give you my experience with Adult ADD and how it is closely related to my being a "neat freak." I was diagnosed with ADD a few months back and have been seeing a psychiatrist, as well as a social-worker life-/coach, both of whom have educated and helped me tremendously. I was (and still can be), a neat freak too!, Pre -diagnosis my home was always spotless ....nothing ever "looked" out of place, the floors shined, mirrors were always clean, it could have been one of those model homes... You might call it OCD, but it's not that at all. My home looked neat and clean to the uniformed observer (AKA non family), but heaven forbid, no one who knew better would EVER try to open a closet or drawer in my house,it proved to be dangerous. Seriously, my husband got hit in the head with a fireplace log when he was trying to get his rain coat out of the hall closet last summer. In trying to keep up outward appearances, along with a false semblance of order in my very DISordered life I just shoved everything that was out of place into a drawer or closet....or anywhere it could not be seen. It caused unbelievable tension and fights in our family for years. Things that cannot be found were usually items I had "cleaned" into some drawer or closet. The problem always came about when I would make mental notes of where I put an important paper, or an IPOD etc. At the time I was "cleaning" I truly thought I would remember where I had put something, but my ADD brain would not allow for that. For example, I "cleaned" (lost) my sons sacred IPOD. WE looked everywhere and it couldn't be found, so I went out and purchased him a new one. A few weeks after I replaced it, I found his old one......in a laundry room cabinet. The minute I found it I remembered exactly what I had been doing at the time.....I guess you can say I had been "multi-tasking. I can't even begin to count the money I wasted over the years replacing lost things.... AND important documents or papers that I had "'cleaned" caused many fights and unnecessary anxiety in our family, among other things....But, that is how my life was, and often still is....if I don't check my thinking and my actions....... I "CLEAN." Bad life-long coping mechanism die hard. I am learning now, how to let other peoples things stay where they left them. It is still quite difficult for me to leave things alone, but I am getting better. Right now my coach is teaching me how to organize my OWN things. She says when I can get my own stuff in order MAYBE I will be able to help the rest of my family put THEIR things in order!.... I just started with my clothes closet....lets just say, it's a work in progress.;)
I now know my desire for outside order was a coping mechanism for the chaos I always felt inside, ALL OF THE TIME! If my home looked neat and clean I felt better about myself...and frankly I still do.Today, I am learning ways to overlook the outside chaos( or what I consider to be chaotic or "messy") by working on the causes of my inside turmoil. I have a long road to travel, but medication and therapy seem to have me on the road to a far happier and satisfying exisistence. My husband and children are happier as well. Until I started treatment and therapy I never realized how my actions affected those closest to me.....Today I am doing well, although I do think I possibly need a meds tweak, or change .... Meds do not cure....they just calm things down ....They give me the ability to FOCUS and LISTEN to what others,( especially the pros) have to say. Meds have also allowed me to step out of my noisy,and frantic head.They have also given me the ability to BE around others and really BE with them, not just physically but mentally.
Take Care, and I hope this helps you to understand your friend a little bit better!
Millie
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25 Mar 2011 @ 7:50 PM
28 Mar 2011 @ 11:50 AM