hi i have had ADD my entire life, i'm 23 and trying to finish the last 4 courses to get my AA degree at CC. I am losing my mind, i took a semester off to get ahold of my life and i thought i was ready... i took a prescription in highschool once that a doctor prescribed me after our only visit. i do not know what it was but i was to take it daily (twice if im not mistaken) and after a month it was supposed to have a perpetual effect on me. it did. it ruined my life socially and i have taken years to recover from it. i feel that i need medicine to make it in this world. i am smart, i write well when i intend to, and i am great with computers and art, yet i cant focus on anything.

today i wrote this letter to myself, i am going crazy and just need some advice!!

please help and thank you so much in advance

each day I feel a little more worse about my life. my ADD is ruining my life. I started off this school semester with the absolute best intentions. I was kicking ass for the first two months and have suddenly just dropped off the map. I put off assignments now worse than ever. If I miss one assignment it seems almost impossible for me to catch up. I cant ever think straight and it drives me so insane that I automatically try to completely avoid situations where I need to. home work, going to class, going to work, as well as taking care of important business like organizing bills, organizing my financial aid situation, or repairing my truck seem like nearly impossible tasks for me. I cant stand the way it makes me feel because it is always in the forefront of my mind. I want to see a doctor but it has been my experience that they never help. they just give me false hopes and months later nothing ever changes and I am stuck with medical bills for seemingly forever that just pop up one after the other from things in the past that were never cured. I have had a severe respiratory infection gone untreated for almost 2 years now. I have no idea what to do or who to turn to. the only things in my life that I can properly focus on are computers, cooking, driving, surfing, and video games. (and also music obviously but I can never make up my mind what I want to listen to anymore.) I am in the worst health of my entire life. I cant stand it and am ashamed of myself yet I simply can not motivate my self to do anything about it. if it werent for the fact that I can still surf for hours on end, I would be a fat slob. we have applied for food stamps a second time, the first time I put off the interview for too long and was denied. I hope that with the ability to buy healthy food I can get on the right track to helping myself but I know that what I must do is completely rehaul myself. I need a fitness regimen, I need a SET DIET, I need to seriously cut back on alcohol and aspirin (I constantly have crippling stomach pain that only aciphex and lots of Tums can begin to aleviate). I take aspirin at the very least 3 days every week for back pain or headaches.

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